Amnesia

C17: Thoughts

I woke up to the sound of bacon in a frying pan. An unusual sound seeing as how I'm the only one who can cook. No wait... Steve can too.

I looked around, blinded by the light coming in from the windows, just to see Steve standing in front of the stove.

"Good morning?" I uttered.

"Oh hey Buck, didn't know you were up." A cheerful voice replied.

"What... what are you doing?"

"Making breakfast. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Um are you feeling better?"

"Oh yeah. I have no idea what that was even about." He said flipping over a piece in the pan.

"Oh um okay then." I rubbed my face over with my hands, clearing the hair behind my ears. "Do you want any help?"

He turned around to look at me, shaking his head.

His eyes were back to their cheery blue and the color had returned to his face. That blonde hair looked so messy I just wanted to reach out and touch it.

I got up and started walking over to the kitchen to where he was standing over the pan, distracted by not burning the bacon inside.

I came up and stood back on the counter right next to the sink behind him, staying out of his way, but still close enough to watch him cook. I hoisted myself up on top of the ledge and sat there just idolizing his perfection.

Mmm... He is so hot.

Cool it, Bucky.

He turned around and smiled at me as he stepped closer towards my counter.

"Whatcha doing?" He smirked.

"Um ya know just the normal."

"Normal? Do you normally sit on the counter and I just don't notice?"

"Uh... well the view is better from up here."

"The view of what...?" He said stepping closer so that he was practically leaning against the counter.

"The... the... uh stove." I mumbled losing my train of thought with how close he was.

Chill, Bucky.

"Oh okay." He smiled looking up at me.

I reached out and ran my hand through the front of his hair, pulling it over into some type of a part. But that seemed impossible. So I ran through it the other direction, admiring how soft it was as I pushed it out of his face. I realized that was a dead end too, so I just pushed it straight back, causing it to be just one fluffy mess. I grinned, looking at his puppy dog face.

"Having fun there?" He laughed.

"You have no idea how adorable you look." I smiled.

"Oh yeah..." he said teasingly.

God I just want to eat his face.

No Bucky... that is not healthy.

We do not eat people.

He was looking right into my eyes, unaware of all the different emotions running through my unorganized train of thoughts.

I had felt this before. Like, in the past, before.

A voice in my head echoed kiss him.

But I knew I couldn't.

I bit my lip, to avoid yelling at myself out loud, which just caught Steve's attention even more.

"What?"

"Nothing." I nervously answered.

"That's not your nothing face."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't I?" He pressed.

"Maybe?"

But then I smelt the bacon again, except this time it was a darker smell.

"Steve you're burning the bacon." I stated.

"Damnit." He muttered turning back around and flipping things in the pan. "I'm not done with you." He said pointing the spatula back at me.

I grimaced and got off the counter, contemplating how to get out of this one.

"You know what... I'm gonna go on a run."

"But I'm making breakfast..." he whined.

"I'll eat later." I said throwing a jacket over my shoulders and heading towards the door.

I have to think on this one.

************

A few blocks away from our apartment, the internal argument started. I barely had time to enjoy the breeze before I was conflicted with my own thoughts.

You should tell Steve.

No, no you shouldn't.

But then you'll never know he feels the same.

Because he doesn't.

Uh, yes he does. No one just acts that way as 'friends'

So...

So he feels the same way! Have you seen him lately.

Yes.

He was standing so close earlier.

I know it drove me crazy.

You should've kissed him.

Not the right time.

Then when is?

You have a point, Bucky.

JUST DO IT.

Thank you inner Shia Lebouf... really needed your input.

Don't let your dreams be dreams...

You know what, you can just go away.

I shook my head and kept running, trying to ignore all the annoying input my brain was trying to say.

It wasn't working.

This is going to bug me forever.

I have to tell Steve.