Amnesia

C28: Stars

"Bucky..."

I heard his voice, but I didn't know where it was coming from.

Behind my eyes it was dark, and scary, every memory chasing me around trying to push Bucky back out of his own mind.

"Bucky hey wake up..."

I felt a gentle hand on my face, but inside the hands of Hydra soldiers were pushing me back into the chair, another trial. Let's see how far Bucky can make it this time.

I know where this one goes.

"No. No. Stop!" I yell out, but they can't hear me. They didn't then and they never will.

"Shhh. Hey. It's me. It's Steve."

Steve.

Steve.

I reach out to find him, but I'm stopped by an all so familiar reminder of the shock. Oh the shock. Pain. Everywhere. They tried so hard to erase everything I was, but nothing will ever erase what they've done to me.

"Stop!"

"Hey hey shhh." I know he's there, I can hear him, I can feel him, but inside here he's so far away.

"Not again. Please." I mutter to no one that will listen.

"Bucky. I'm here. Wake up."

I'm here...

Steve...

Bucky wake up!

I gasp awake, sitting up as fast as I can. My eyes search the dark for Steve and I find him sitting next to me on the bed.

"Hey shh." He wraps his arms around my shoulders. "You're okay."

I took a deep breath and pulled him closer to me wrapping my arms around his torso.

"I thought they had stopped... I'm so sorry." I whispered into his shoulder.

"Don't apologize Buck. You're doing fine." He said as his fingers ran through my hair.

"Every time I think I'm getting better..." I shook my head.

"You'll get there eventually."

Will I?

"What if I can't? What if I end up hurting you again? What if I can't snap out of it next time?"

"Stop worrying about what could happen and focus on what already has. Look at all the progress you've made this past year."

"I guess..." I whispered, my jaw sitting on his shoulder.

We stayed like this for a few minutes, just sitting there with our arms around each other, not caring that it was 3 in the morning and both of us needed sleep.

It was nice to just feel his arms around me as a cool breeze blew in from the window. The mix of his warmth and its chill made a perfect combination as we just sat in bed staring off into the darkness.

It was soothing, almost completely calm, like out of everything else going on right here, right now, we were secure, we were safe. It was a feeling I wasn't used to.

I sat there just enjoying the smell of his clean tee shirt, when he started unwrapping his hands from behind my back.

"Wait... what... where are you going?" I mumbled as he pulled away from me.