Fate Fixes Tori & Jade - A Victorious Fanfic (Jori)

Electricity - (Jade's POV)

(NOTE: I would just like to sincerely apologize for not updating this for 8 months. I haven't been able to find the motivation to sit down and do every day activities, let alone write another chapter. I've been trying to write this chapter since March, but kept forgetting about it or not feeling attached to it enough to write it. I'm greatly sorry, but thank you for waiting. Thank you for all the positive feedback as well! It means the world to me. I hope you enjoy!)

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My face is a shade of rosy-pink, sitting in my seat in Sikowitz's class.  I bite my lip and keep glancing over at Tori after what we had just done. In front of everyone. She doesn't look back though, so eventually I just keep my head down.

I want Tori, but I don't want everyone to know just yet. It's too soon to tell people. I just, I myself am not ready to tell people that I'm... gay? No, I can't be gay. I was with Beck for years, intimately. I'm clearly not straight. Bisexual, perhaps? Probably. I don't know. I need time. I don't want to label it either. I don't know. I'm just... this is all too soon for me and I'm not ready to explain myself. I don't have to explain myself. I feel extremely overwhelmed right now.

Shit. I just remembered that Beck isn't here. He didn't see us. He doesn't know. He won't know until someone tells him, whether that (hopefully) be me or someone else. Fuck. He's going to flip out. I just know he will. Or maybe he doesn't have to know.

Startled, I snap back into the real world to the sound of the bell. Slowly I reach down, grabbing my bag and rising to my feet. Andre, Cat, Robbie, and Tori are all waiting for me. I look all of them in the eyes, except for Tori, and then back at the ground.

"Jade," Andre starts to ask me, "what was that?"

I shake my head and bite my lip. Suddenly I surprise myself by bursting into a laugh. I regret what comes out of my mouth next.

"Oh, come on!" I laugh. "We're practicing for our roles in the short film for class. God, did you guys think that- haha hell no. I can't even stand looking at Vega let alone kissing her, but hey, we have to break the barrier at some point in order for our project to not suck ass." I was forcing myself not to look at Tori, but I guess a guilty part of me made me take a quick glance. Her face read of pure confusion, and perhaps maybe just maybe she was a little bit hurt. I'll have to talk to her privately later and explain myself, but I just panicked and didn't know what to say. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to come out to my friends even though I think, I hope, that they'd be accepting. We've never really discussed it really, so I don't know where any of their heads are at with it. I don't know. I just don't want them to think that I'm a freak. I also don't want them to think Tori is a freak, because that would downright piss me off. She's absolutely perfect and doesn't deserve to be treated terribly. Then again, I don't even know what she's thinking or feeling - that is, if  she's feeling anything at all.

All of my friends burst into laughter, realizing how "stupid" they are.

Andre laughs, "You had us real confused there for a good few minutes! I mean you two?" He laughs again. "Come on!"

"I know right?" Robbie says. "I was shocked!"

Cat cluelessly giggles as she usually does, twisting her red velvety hair around with her fingers, "very confuzzled!"

"You guys hate each other!" Andre says, still laughing.

Tori looks at me and flashes her typical Tori Vega smile, but this time I can see that some of her every day glimmer is gone. I feel bad, but I can't do this. I can't just drop my morals, jump out and shout, "Hey everybody, I am in love with Tori Vega!"