BOYS OF SUBURBIA [boy x boy] [Wattys 2018]

✗ NINE ✗

In the dim light, Sebastian could see the glimmer of white ashes.

Cocaine, thought Sebastian grimly, wondering if his past self could see where he was right now: about to do drugs with the popular rugby goon, Niko Salinger, back to the days where his wild Friday nights would only consist of shitty night-shifts at the local grocery store where he had already been awake for twelve hours when he had clocked in and his body was resisting any manual labor he was forcing it to perform, where the customers were either cranky, drunk or just as tired as him, especially the older ones who always had a lecture to give or an insult to throw and where the conditions weren't twice as bad as they were during the day, but it was still the same low pay and the same shitty coworkers, except it, was dark and spooky outside. Or the lonely, cold Friday nights in his bedroom with his PS4 and the internet full of crappy porn that doesn't even get him hard anymore.

Niko's face loomed closer to his, smirking, "You first."

"Me?" Sebastian frowned. Niko nodded, head jerking in that swift motion, hair flopping into his chocolate eyes, the chocolate eyes that had made a chip in his regular pattern of everyday boredom. "Um, uh sure."

"Roll it up," Niko instructed, handing him a ten-pound bill, "And just take a deep breath. Then prepare for the best bloody ten seconds of your life."

"Alright." Sebastian did as he told- rolled it up and placed it into his nose, then he neared the wooden log where the line laid. He closed his eyes and inhaled- waiting for the white powder to shoot up into his nostrils and bam!

The effect was instantaneous, jarring, like bullets being rammed into his brain and staining it with hallucinations. The world was blurring, like camera lenses zooming in and out, and Sebastian's Earth was spinning, shifting beneath his two feet, but then it stopped. Right at that moment, right when the effects started to seep into his brain, Sebastian found himself dangling on the ledge for more.

"Holy shit," gasped Sebastian and Sebastian saw Niko grinning at the corner of his eyes.

"Good, eh?'

"Ye- heh, yeah," Sebastian admitted nervously, submitting to Niko's whims. "Can I have a...second go?"

"Alright," Niko said, "But it doesn't come for free- or my boss will have my head."

"How much for the rest?"

"Thirty quid," responded Niko casually, "Is that okay?"

Sebastian didn't care- he just wanted another hit, and another, and another, until the numbness transcended throughout his whole body. He just wanted to see the way his vision sprawled and disconnected when he was high again- and again and again.

"You got yourself a deal."

-

They started to see each other more regularly.

Every time Sebastian finished off a shift, he would meet Niko at the bus stop where they first conversed, where their two souls saw each other at a crossroad for the lonely and deprived. Sebastian would slip him whatever money he scored that day or whatever money he had in his pockets for an exchange of whatever he had- pills, powder, leaves. Anything that made his brain a better place for him to live.

"I'm corrupting you," chuckled Niko at one of their meetups as they waited with each other at the bus stop- Niko had claimed that his sister, Rae, had needed the car for work so he was taking the bus for the day. Both of them had cigarettes dangling out of their mouths in the open. Sebastian wondered if his mum could see him now, trying to decide whether this would break her heart or make her send him to some kind of reform school.

"Yeah," Sebastian responded quietly, his blue eyes flecked with grey flickering over to Niko, trailing over the boy's dark olive-toned skin, trying not to let his boner pop up unexpectedly. God, it was so hard being a closeted gay, especially when Niko fucking Salinger was so agonisingly good-looking. "I suppose."

"Don't suppose," teased Niko, nearly shoving Sebastian out of his seat. Then the goddamn fucker had the nerve to smirk and laugh when Sebastian glared at him. "Just fuckin' smoke, you wanker."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, pressing the cigarette onto his mouth. There was something so thrilling about cigarettes, the illicit smoke pouring out of his lips- for one, if his mother happened to amble by right now, he'd be deader than last week's leftover Wellington beef steak. The other being the fact that at any moment he could contract lung cancer that could kill him. It was the latter's reason that it was the most thrilling because he was taunting Death, mocking it. And it felt fucking great.

"Fuck off," mumbled Sebastian, his eyes trailing to Niko reluctantly as Niko smiled a very Niko smile, one that cut dimples into his cheeks and made Sebastian's heart fastened with every steady beat. Niko proceeded to stretch lazily, his shirt revealing some exposed neck. Niko's skin was not too dark, not too light, an in-between, and Sebastian could barely suppress the primal instinct to just slam his pliant lips against Niko, make him shiver as he lick Niko's lips open for entrance, cradling that delicate neck in one hand and feeling his pulse thump like a rabbit's foot beneath that in-between skin. Sebastian swallowed and felt his little friend beginning to harden, then quickly tore his eyes from Niko and focused it on the road.

He's not a fucking fag like you are, Sebastian thought, squeezing images out of his mind, He's not yours.

But Sebastian was Niko's since the very beginning.

-

don't do drugs and please vote and comment <3