BOYS OF SUBURBIA [boy x boy] [Wattys 2018]

✗ TWENTY-TWO ✗

Niko woke up with Sebastian on his mouth.

The sun lazily peeked over into the horizon, casting soft streams of light through the gaps of Sebastian's blinds when a breeze sends a disruption through the papers scattered all over Sebastian's desks and caused the hair to fall into Niko's eyes, resulting in an itch to spread throughout his face. Cracking one eye open, Niko groaned and yawned, stirring the other boy as he took a deep breath and released it into the air.

Sebastian was coiled up like a fetus on his chest, legs and sheets entangled with his and the whole room stank of sex, sweat and alcohol. Sebastian's hair tickled his chin as the boy unwrapped from him slowly, moving one limb little by little. "Sorry," the boy sheepishly whispered onto Niko, sending vibrations on his chest. Sebastian's painfully pink lips parted, revealing ivory teeth like piano keys in a straight line.

"It's fine," said Niko slowly, his head dead, "Can we just...not move?"

"Okay," said Sebastian meekly. Cute fucking bastard. He returned back to his position and snuggled back next to Niko, except he wasn't sleeping on Niko's chest anymore. He was just sleeping next to him, curled up beside him. The absence of Sebastian's head on his chest was too strange to even feel now like it wasn't right. Niko was so used to the warmth transmitting from Sebastian's head to his skin that he was cold and empty without him there.

"Put your head here," said Niko, nudging him a little. "It's cold."

Sebastian laughed wryly, "And you say I'm queer."

"Shut up."

-

The shift from friends to whatever they hell they were now had been as natural as the rest of their relationship- it just fell into place for them to pick up where they'd left off. Homework assignments abandoned for make-out sessions on Sebastian's bed, tree-climbing in the woods substituted with scraped knees from blowjobs on the forest floor, breaking into hotel pools and swimming replaced with grinding wet bodies in the water while smoking, that sort of thing.

It was all kind of impromptu and natural, letting the best of instinct ride over Niko like this was meant to happen.

"Hey, Nik," Sebastian said, as his head was on Niko chest and their backs were on the forest floor. There was a shit tonne of drugs littered all over the place- enough to get them arrested and placed in prison for the rest of their lives but nothing ever happened and there was always fun in living a little, even if it was the same every time.

"Yeah?"

"What- what are we?"

"We're boys, Sebastian. Unless you're having an identity crisis."

"No, I mean- are we...a one-time thing?"

The nervousness in Sebastian's biting lips kind of tugged on Niko's heartstrings. Even when there was a cigarette hanging outside of his mouth. Adorable motherfucker. God. "We're...something," Niko said, trying to swallow. He was not ready to go that far, not ready to say it loud. "Please, Bash, I just don't want to think about the future...or...or what we are. I just want to be us."

There was a tremor when Sebastian spoke again, or maybe he was just shivering from the cold. Sebastian looked up at him with those earnest blue eyes and lifted the cigarette of his lips so it dangled on his fingers. "Am- am I just- just an experiment?"

"Fuck, no- you're not- no, you're my friend."

"You do that with Roger?" Sebastian sarcastically queried. Stupid bastard was actually smart enough to detect the slip-up, smart enough to call Niko upon his bullshit.

"Fine, you're- you're just- you. You're different- different from Roger."

Eloquent, Niko. So fucking eloquent.

"Different," sounded Sebastian slowly, as if the word was acid that he was trying to get rid off his tongue.

Niko squeezed his eyes shut and leant down until their mouths were so close Niko could smell the cigarettes on Sebastian's breath. He was not ready to say it out loud, say that he might- maybe, just possibly, in the most infinitesimally amount possible- loved Sebastian. Loved him more anything in the world. But he was not ready to hand over his heart, not ready to realise that maybe he was queer or bisexual- whatever the hell he was. He just wanted to kiss him, taste his skin with the nicotine-laced on it, feel his pulse beneath him and cherished the most of Sebastian.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, you fucker, and I just- I don't know anything now to establish anything or-"

This time Sebastian shut him up by making the first move.

-

SQUEEE.

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