Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Bob Dylan x Harmonica

A/N: This is becoming more nonsense from a chapter to chapter.  Holy shit.

 It's a good pairing tho

 Y'know what is even better pairing? Bob Dylan x Eric Clapton x George Harrison. Don't even say it isn't.

 #StillNotDoingRequestsInAnyOrder

--

Once upon a time there was a singer Bob Dylan, cute smol  bean an' all. 

It was a beautiful day IhavenofreakinideawhichI'mtoopoorforWikipedia, when Bob was celebrating his birthday. Hooray. They made a partay and stuff.

His girlfriend gave him a gift. Bob unpacked it carefully.

When he saw what was that, his heart stopped.

"Oh my God!" Dylan's eyes shined like Yoko Ono's at a new OTP's to destroy sight. 

It was a harmonica.

Beautiful. Silver. Shining.

The most beautiful thing he has ever saw in his entire life. Screw Suze.

"She's so beautiful!" Bob was admiring the instrument for the next DAMN TWO WEEKS, making his girlfriend furious. 

"Uhm..." she said finally, angry. "I'm here too if you haven't noticed."

"I don't need you anymore. Lol bye," answered the musician. Suze burst out in tears and ran away. Musician didn't care. What a shame, Bob. You've just dumped your girl for a harmonica, Bob. Great choice, Bob.

But anyway. Dylan started to make out with his harmonica. They made together a happy couple, which lasted for years. Their mutual love shined like a starr. Sadly, they couldn't get married. Wonder, why.

* * *

A few years passed. Dylan was still dating his harmonica. She wasn't very talkative, but was always listening patiently. He loved her. He loved playing on her.

One day Bob came to his house after a concert and went to the room to greet his harmonica, when he noticed something terrible.

Something disturbing.

The instrument wasn't there.

His anxiety soon became a panic. Bob wasn't thinking straight. He looked everywhere for her in a hectic searches. But he couldn't find her anywhere. Instead of the instrument, he found a card.

"We've kidnapped your harmonica. You've got 24 hours to find her. Signed, best pairing ever. ; ))"

He felt like kicked in a stomach. 

Someone has stolen his girlfriend! His precious harmonica! And which, the fuck, pairing?! Who could that be?!

No. Bob Dylan was not gonna leave it like that. He was gonna find them. 

After some time he has found a clue. A clue that let him find the kidnappers' house. That's why he was driving desperately, hundreds kilometres per hours. Racing against time. Running innocent people over. Faster. Nothing counted. Nothing except his harmonica.

He probably ran Paul McCartney over, but screw it. He can always be replaced by some clone. 

That's how Faul was born, children.

But we're focusing on Bob now! He finally arrived in a place. Wearing a heart on his sleeve he stood at a big villa's door. This place looked familiar a bit...

The door was open. He slowly stepped in, looking around, when suddenly...

...the lights went on.

"Welcome," said George Harrison.

"We've been expecting you," added Eric Clapton.

Dylan's mind has frozen up, trying to understand, what the hell was going on here. Why his two friends? What even?

"Where is my harmonica." he said dangerously, trying not to kill them right now. Wow wow dangerous Bob wow. 

"She's safe and sound, don't worry," answered Harrison, eating a sandwich stoically, like he hasn't stolen musician's precious instrument. Great friend, indeed. 

"Why did you stole her?"

"We wanted to bring you here with her help ; ))"

"...couldn't you just call me and invite?"

"..."

"I said that the same," Clapton turned around to George.

"Duh, that would be too easy," Beatle snapped. "Anyway! We brought you, cause we were talking with Eric and..."

"After-sex reflections," added Clapton.

What is going on here, thought Dylan, but said nothing. 

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway. We were talking and we concluded that I ship you with Eric and he ships me with you, so we decided to make a threesome. Genius, isn't it?"

There was a silence. 

Ringo looked through the window with a mixture of pain and shock in his blue eyes. "whaT ABOUT MEh, jOj??"

Harrison pulled down the blinds.

"YOU'RE ALL TOTALLY FUCKED UP... why not lol," said Bob.

And then they made a threesome.

#EricBobGeorgeBestThreesomeEver #ThreesomeOfPeaceNLove #Wow

And after that Bob Dylan murdered them for touching his harmonica, took the beautiful instrument so they could be together again. He kissed her in a corner hooray. George and Eric went to make Clappison in heaven.

Rungo was crying over Joj but lawl who cares bout Rungo.

THE END