Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Lenncliffe

A/N: ...Too underrated ship.

Enjoy! (and ship more!)

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Once upon a time there was John Lennon, 100% str8 guy. And there was also his boyfriend, Stuart Sutcliffe. Lol deal with it.

Nobody knew their dark as the night secret.

Our totally str8 heroes were wasting- I mean, spending time with playing in band with two other guys and some shitty drummer. Sorry, Pete. One day, finally, some random dude noticed their amazing musical skills and said:

"You'll go to Hamburger and play there, yo."

So Silver Beetles — yes, back then they could spell the band's name properly wow wow — were very happy and jumped into the train to Germany.

The five, less or more innocent guys, got out of the train, keeping eyes on instruments and George, so no one could steal them. Then they looked around the place — some dirty shitty city and hotel rooms which seemed more like shoe boxes.

"Fucking great," commented John.

"I'll sleep in room with John," Stuart offered heroically. Lennon smiled at the thought of use they'll both make from the bed this night — I'm not talking about sleeping of course. ; )))

"I want with Jawn!" said suddenly Paul, shocking everyone. Macca and Stu looked at each other like George at Yoko when she ate his biscuit. Pete and George took a step back.

"What the fuck?" Sutcliffe growled. The tension became as thick as Brian May's hair; an argument hung in the air.

"Jawn," thay saided in an unison. "Pick one!"

"Uhh..." Lemon really liked the fact that he got all the booties in here. "Stu?"

"Loser," the bassist smiled triumphally, turning to Macca.

"Fuck you then. George, come with me," huffed offended guitarist — offendedpaulmccartney.jpg — and George followed him with a big wtf on his face.

And Pete was sleeping alone lol.

This Hamburgian night John and Stu were making Lenncliffe passionately, totally str8 still, and there would be nothing strange about this, except for one fact. The walls were thin.

Paul heard everything.

And planned a revenge.

Dun-dun-dun-duun.

* * *

The Silver Beetles were playing in some German brothel, I mean club. The atmosphere was really happy and the audience was screaming enthusiastically something that sounded like death sentences.

And then their oh so loyal guitarist George Harrison ran away to make out with Hurricanes drummer. Cute.

Anyway the rest of them went out to have a drink. Having fun, maybe except the Paul — no one noticed McCartney was sitting silently and planning his revenge. Lennon and Sutcliffe were drunk and really close to make out, which cause Paul's jealousy to burn his insides.

No, Macca didn't have a crush on John.

No, Macca didn't hate Stuart for stealing HIS Johnny.

"I'll cripple you... I'll cut your head and tear your guts apart. I'll make you beg for mercy... no one will hear your screams. You'll wish for quick death after I'll finish you... yes..." Paul murmured with pure hatred in his voice towards Stuart.

"...What?" asked Pete.

"Oh, nothing, I said I need to wash my hair," Macca smiled innocently.

"Okay."

Time passed by. When the whole company was drunk and ready to go back, McCartney threw Stuart under the high-speed truck. (*) XDDD

Astrid and Jawn cried after the bassist, but who cares, they could be finally together now and make McLennon! Paul was totally proud about what he did and never told his lover the truth. Why should he lol.

Then they threw Pete out of The Silver Beetles and after long George's pleadings hired Ringo Starr (ofcourse Harrison wanted him because Ringo would make a great addition to the band, not to simply shag him- who am I kidding).

And then the whole band, along with their manager, were totally str8.

THE END