Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Happy Keith Moon's Adventures

A/N: Aaah sorry for waiting so long

Wait... there wasn't any crack oneshot 'bout Moonie before... How could I? D: As apologize, here comes some! Bc we all love him. <3

+ I hope this chapter won't offend anyone xD (it's a crackfic, chill)

Enjoy!

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Once upon a time there was Keith Moon, a terrorist- I mean The Who's band drummer. He was a god of destruction and he always fucked shit up. That's why he felt a dissatisfaction, only playing on drums.

It was a beautiful year Idon'tgiveashitwhich when they were playing a concert. Atmosphere was nice and people were cheering loudly, but Keith was bored. Yes, he was bored on a rock concert bc why not. And they were playing and playing and suddenly Peter said:

"Do you smell it?"

Guys looked at each other.

"It smells like a gun powde-"

BOOM

BOOMBOOM BANGBANGBANG BOOOM

The whole building shook and collapsed with a shrill sound. Roger Waters Akbar.

When the dust settled, the muusicians slowly got out of the wreckage the building has become and checked out the damage.

"What the fuck has happened here?" said John. Without a second thought everyone looked at Moon.

"What? It was probably some small thermonuclear bomb or something  I've forgotten about," he shrugged.

"You've killed hundreds of people, you lil fucker." Roger frowned with disgust.

"Well, shit happens," the drummer answered innocenly.

Suddenly they heard sirens in the distance.

"Shit," said Peter.

"If anybody asks, it's all Keith's fault," said Daltrey, great and loyal friend he is. "Sorry, Moonie. Moonie?"

But Moonie wasn't here anymore. He screamed "Bye, wankers!" and ran from the scene of the crime, through ashes, rubbles and dead bodies. He saw a totally left out bulldozer in a middle of nowhere because — crackfic magic! So he got in and — another crackfic magic — the keys were in. So he started the machine and drove away.

Great friend.

"Keith, wait for me!" John shouted, another great friend, and jumped on the machine's bucket.

Moonie reversed and accidentally ran Pete over.

Whooops.

Then he sped up and travelled around the globe, causing panic and disorder, destroying everything he saw. No one could hide. No one could be safe. No one. Not even you. Not even your dog.

On the way through London he totally accidentally popped in the Abbey Road studios and totally accidentally ruined the whole building and totally accidentally killed John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Whoooooops.

He laughed - he was unstoppable now. The National Guard came to stop him, but it was English National Guard so as they saw the power of Keith Moon, they ran away in a panic. Pussies. The military aircrafts were also used against him, but they failed, too. 

Suddenly Moonie heard a scream so he turned back and saw Roger running towards him.

"Stop, you sick fucker! Stop this spiral of terror!"

"Someone get me out of here, please," said Enty quietly, surprisingly still alive.

"No. All you need is terror," said Keith Moon and drove away.

* * *

Jerusalem, year 33 a.d.

"Take this, all of you, and eat it," said Jesus Christ, during the Last Supper, "this is my body which will be given up for y-" but he had no chance to finish because suddenly Keith Moon broke through the wall and destroyed everything.

Lol.

* * *

Earth, year 2084 a.d.

The whole world has turned into dust.

There was nothing left but ruins, wastelands, destroyed signs of civilization. Everything the human race achieved, discovered... was now gone. And wind was blowing gloomily through the remains.

Only Roger Waters survived.

Keith Moon triumphantly emerged from the machine. John, pale as death itself, fell from the bucket.

Then the drummer came into ruins of some house, looking around.

And threw a television from the window.

THE END