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Not once ounce of sleep was received that night. The thought of Glenn being dead kept replaying in her head. He was dead. She never even gave him a proper goodbye; or a decent hello.
By the next morning Rick was surprised to see her in the kitchen, sitting with her head in her hands. She wasn't crying--she was too exhausted to shed any more tears--she was just thinking. The two sat down, and Rick had explained what had happened since then. About this new group called the Saviours who barely acted like ones, about their leader Negan who killed Glenn and Abraham, about a new place called hilltop, about Maggie and Sasha staying at hilltop.
"Maggie's...pregnant?" Lauren questioned, eyes softening for the first time in awhile. Rick nodded. Lauren glanced downwards, feeling excited for her but also sad that she would have to raise it without her husband.
After a few moments of silence, Rick spoke up. "I was worried, I thought you had...I didn't think you were coming back." Lauren's face fell, not knowing how much he actually cared about her. But her reasoning was told when she glanced up at him. He could tell how broken she was by the tiredness and dullness in her irises. Lauren began to explain why she left, and he felt better knowing that she came back more stable.
The young girl spent most of her day with Judith, enjoying the silence between them. She doubted Judith missed her, since she was only a baby and wasn't intellectually capable enough of thinking like that.
That night she needed sleep, but her body wouldn't allow her to. Her body ached for it. Glancing towards the open door she peered into the opposite bedroom to see Carl sleeping, his back facing her. Maybe company would help her.
Pushing herself off the mattress, she crept to the other room, noticing him stir in his sleep. As she stood by the door, Carl awoke, turned over and noticed her with confused eyes.
"What are you-"
"Shut up and let me sleep here."
He didn't oppose her statement, simply moving over to let her on. Lauren refused to go under the covers, but lied at the edge of the bed facing her back towards him. Both teenagers didn't face each other, but Lauren still felt better with company by her side. The weight on the other side of the bed gave her security, and soon after making her eyes drift closed.
Maybe being alone affected her health.
➸ ➸ ➸
Thankfully she awoke before Carl, glancing behind her to see him lying on his back. She finally got to study his features. After these few months his face changed; he wasn't as young as before, which was understandable. He looked colder, and his hair was longer. He carried the same tiredness under his eyes. Or should she say, eye. She could never really get used to the fact that something so valuable to him was now gone, but it didn't change the way she thought of him. He seemed taller than before, even had broader shoulders. Lauren wondered if he noticed how much more sick she looked than before.
Finally getting out of bed, she went into her room and put a new change of clothes on. Dark brown jeans, a dirty, white tank top, and a black zip-up sweater that she left unzipped.
By looking at the sun outside her window she guessed it was barely sunrise. Watching the sun used to be her only way of checking the time.
Lauren exited the home, finally getting a good look at the town since 4 months had passed. They had definitely rebuilt it well after the walker hoard incident, but it seemed more grim than before; darker in looks and feels. The grass didn't seem as vibrant, and the pond in the middle looked murky. As Lauren glanced at the water, she noticed a young girl sitting on a bench, relaxing she presumed. The girl was facing towards Lauren, so she soon noticed her in her peripheral vision, turning her head to glance at her. Lauren was now at the edge of the pond, being a good view distance away from her.
Squinting her eyes, she examined the girl. She was about her age, with long, streaky strands. Her cheeks were dotted with pale freckles, and she sported blue shorts and a grey, long sleeved shirt. Blonde hair, freckles, she's seen those looks before. A very long time ago.
Before Lauren noticed, the girl had stood up and walked closer to Lauren, also recognizing the dark hair and familiar face. Then it hit both of them like a tidal wave in a storm.
"Lauren? Is that...actually you?" The blonde questioned.
Lauren's stomach churned nervously. "Ana?"
Ana nodded, walking closer so that there were mere inches apart. Before she could continue, Ana wrapped her arms around the girl. Lauren noticed how much smaller she was than her; how much smaller she's always been.
She'd never think she would see Josephine's daughter again. She was a reminder of Joe's group. Of the cellar. Of all the pain.
Of the fact that she killed her mother with no remorse.
Ana had explained everything that happened, and Lauren hoped that she wouldn't bring up her mother. Sadly, it was inevitable.
"I was alone for awhile, just like you. I don't have anyone anymore." Ana murmured, leading on to talking of her deceased mother.
Lauren shook her head. "I'm sorry about your mother, she didn't deserve it..."
Ana's eyebrows furrowed, turning to face Lauren. Her eyes filled with confusion. "How did you know something bad happened to her?"
Lauren's body stiffened, glancing downwards cautiously. "I just...guessed that something bad happened to her..."
Ana didn't look fully convinced, but nodded anyways. The young brunette avoided her gaze, hoping that she wouldn't figure out that she had killed her. Lauren thought Joe would've told her; she wondered why he didn't spill it to the whole town about how much of a monster she was.
Later that night, Lauren felt too magnetized to the moonlight--to her thoughts--to get any sleep. Anxiety swam through her containing unlikely thoughts of what would happen if Ana found out the truth.
Her thoughts were interrupted when somebody stirred in the other room. She knew exactly who it was. Turning her head, she could see Carl thrashing in his bed. Lauren was well acquainted with what nightmares were. Her brain screamed at her to not get up, but she did anyway.
Creeping back into the room she slept in the night before, she stood a few feet away from the distressed sleeper. Gulping down her worries, her hand lightly took ahold of his shoulder and shook it. Surprisingly he shot upwards, heavily breathing as cold sweat dripped from his forehead. Noticing the girl beside him, his eyes softened, showed shock, but then turned cold again. He almost forgot how it was between them.
A tense silence filled the air, until Lauren spoke up. "Try not sleeping at all. It helps with the nightmares." Carl rolled his eyes at her sarcasm, even if it was too dark for her to see him react. The boy unknowingly followed her orders, getting out of bed and heading downstairs.
Nothing was right between them anymore, but no one was willing to change it.
➸ ➸ ➸
Trucks rumbled along the road, intriguing everyone in town. Rick and a few others walked towards the gate, hearing the vehicles stop behind it. Lauren had even followed close behind, wondering who was there.
No one knew the saviours were coming this soon.
A shadowed figure came up to the gate, no one able to see his face through the thin shield. His shadow looked as menacing as he sounded, banging a baseball bat on the gate a few times, each time sending a shock of worry down Lauren's spine; along with shivers.
"Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
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a/n: yikes negan is here! tbh if lauren was able to she would totally and gladly shove lucille down his throat :)))) i love my badass child
