Shame

•part 5•

Three slices of pizza and four shots later didn't make me feel much better as I sat next to James watching some stupid film about a chainsaw.

"Why are you hiding?" James asked.

"I'm not" I slurred taking a swig of whiskey, letting the alcohol burn my throat.

"Want some?" I offered, he took the bottle and gulped it down.

"How the fuck..." I stared at him in amazement.

"What" he laughed giving me the bottle back.

"You just downed half a bottle of whiskey and are acting like it was water." I pointed out looking at the screen.

I started to make the gagging noise at the scenes in front of me.

"Why's he do that for? What did that guy ever do?" I spoke out loud and James swung an arm around me.

"Ohhhhhhhh suzieeeeeeeeee" James slurred pulling me close the smell of alcohol strong on his breath.

"What James?" I pushed him off me getting ready to leave.

"Why the fuck do you do this to me." He spat at me.

"Why the fuck do I do what?" I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Lead me on into thinking you want something then fuck me off the first chance you get. You're just a slag who uses people" he spat. My blood began to boil and before I could contain myself I lunged for him.

My hands tangled in his hair my body on top of his as we fought with one another.

A strong sense of hatred lingered in the air as my eyes met with his. His chocolate brown eyes dark with anger.

I couldn't help the feeling that was taking over me.

"Suzie you're a little fucking bi-" I cut him off by crashing my lips onto his.

This was so wrong but felt so right.

His lips moulded to mine as they moved in sync, tongues fighting one another.

I pulled away and looked at him. It's like I'm not in control of my own body.

I helped him up and he sat on the sofa with me standing in front of him.

I bit my lip out of nervousness and dropped to my knees.

(CUTTING OUT THE HOE-ANTICS. SOZ)

I sat next to him, cheeks flushed and out of breath.

"That was... something else" he chuckled panting and throwing his head back in relaxation.

I slumped down in my chair the alcohol relieving from my system, but I just wanted to drink more. And more: So that's what I did.

"I-I I'm goinggggg for a showeeeeerrrrr" I slurred stumbling towards the bathroom and turning the shower on.

I began to take my joggers off but they became stuck. So I tugged and tugged until.

Smack. I thumped my head hard and let out a loud scream.

"What's wrong?!" James sprinted to the door. My body screwed up on the floor as I began to laugh.

"I trippeddddddddd, you're cute" I giggled looking at him. By this time I just wanted to vanish from existence.

"Let's get you up" he frowned picking me up.

"Noooooooooo, I smeeeeeell" I pouted looking at him. He put my down and I stood in front of him. Just staring.

"Shower with meeeeee" I pulled his hand into the shower. Letting the water run down our clothed bodies.

I slipped over and hit James ankle causing him to fall on top of me into a heap.

The warm water wetting his brunette locks. I couldn't help but run my hands through them whilst pulling his head down and connecting our lips.

I pulled away and looked at him, sliding from under his grasp.

"Getting changeddddd won't be longggg" I shouted from the bedroom.

I shut my door but obviously not enough as I felt a pair of eyes bulge into my back.

Hmmmmmmm, let's have some fun with this.

I slowly peeled my top off of my chest and let my hair down whipping it back from my face and shaking it out.

I then moved onto my joggers. Peeling the grey fabric off my thighs revealing my grey Calvin Kleins with matching bra.

I then peeled off my bra. Watching in the mirror as his eyes and mouth drop. Then bending over to remove my underwear.

I turned around and dried myself with the towel on the radiator.

I slid into James top he left here from before and walked out. Hearing his feet scurrying across the floor only made me silently laugh to myself.

"Everything OK?" I asked sitting next to him.

Unaware that the pillow on his lap was hiding nothing.

"Y-yeah" he stuttered coughing.

I straddled his waist and looked him dead in the eye.

"Say that again but without lying" I whispered kissing his neck. I knew what I was doing and the funniest part is I wasn't going to stop.

"S-suze" he spoke grunting.

"Just shut up" I crashed my lips onto his.

I didn't care any more. I crave him, I want him. The urge is too strong for me to overcome.

"James I want you."