Shame

•part 6•

It had been months since my night with James and we haven't spoken since.

He was in all my classes and went to all the party's I went too. But still not a gesture was passed between us.

For the first time in months I approached him. Fuck it.

"We need to talk. I'm sorry" we both spoke at the same time.

"I didn't use you if that's how you felt." We spoke again.

"I want you" he spoke

"I see you as a friend" I spoke at the same time.

"Oh." We spoke in unison for the final time before he scratched the back of his neck. Confusion etched on his face.

"You said you wanted me the night it happened" He muttered.

"I was drunk James. So were you. Can we just leave it please. You're still a dick and I still don't like you. The whole thing was a mistake and shouldn't have happened." I spoke.

"Why do you do this every fucking time." He spat at me.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that. You didn't speak to me for months on end. Sorry didn't realise I still had to have feelings for you after all this. Your nothing but a fucked off college student that can't get what he wants." I spat back. He laughed in my face.

"Sweetheart, I've got you just where I want you. You make out you're some feisty girl with a temper, but once your vulnerable you curl up in your shell. And that's why you don't like me. You feel vulnerable around me don't you. So cut the shit Suzie" He laughed harder and walked away.

I slumped down the wall and cried my heart out. His words hit me like knives plummeting through me. He's right though. I have no self-esteem or confidence when I'm vulnerable, it's my weakness... I need a spliff.

********** 1 year later *********

I glanced at myself in the mirror.
My eyes red from crying. Ever since the episode in the corridor I've hated James Franco. I suddenly became a nobody, he ruined me physically and emotionally. I went through months of rehab and detox programmes which have made me into the person I am now. I also moved from America to England, that was a new experience and I also dyed my hair blonde and had it cut into a bob shape. Trust me when I say I'm not the girl I was a year ago.

I haven't seen James in a year and I'm dreading this engagement party tonight. Oh yeah Dave and Jess got engaged. So much happens when you're away, I swear.

I slid on my white skater dress with floral patterns at the bottom and slipped on some simple white strappy heels. All the bridesmaids wear the same dress but I had a different one, being the maid of honour that is.

Its hard work but well worth it to see your best friend happy.

James p.o.v

I haven't seen Suzie in months and I miss her to pieces. I shouldn't have said what I did but I said it. A week later she vanished. Just left everything. It hasn't been the same since.

I feel like I loved her, If I could take it back I would.

I slid on my suit jacket and evaluated myself. I wonder if the maid of honour is hot? Since it's tradition or some shit that the best man and maid of honour fuck. No one can compare to Suzie. I miss her so much. But a fuck is a fuck.

I did the laces on my shoes and left the room, seeing jess talking to some cute blonde chick before walking away together. Damn, she's hot. Her British accent sung through my ears. I need to meet this girl. Soon.

When in the event hall I saw the blonde at the bar so I began to approach her. Dave steps in front of me before I can say hi and claims he needs help outside. Me being a boss brother and best man goes to help him.

"Dave, who's the blonde?" I asked him

"What... what blonde?" He asks

"Cut the shit. The one jess is mates with. The short hair British one" I looked at Dave as he went pale.

"Ohhh I don't know, ermmmm jess' friend" he nervously coughed.

"Is Suzie coming?" I asked hopefully hoping he didn't notice.

"James... she's better off without you. You destroyed the girl. She moved coun- besides the point. She's happier now. Plus I don't think you'd recognise her if you even saw her let alone had a conversation with her." He spoke.

"Why's she changed?" I looked at Dave hoping the answer isn't what I think it will be.

"Because of you."