Stay By Me // Carl Grimes

Chapter 23

He looked back at me to see who had walked out. "Why did you follow me out here?" I walked down the porch steps, and towards him. "I was worried about you." He scoffed "Really? Because you didnt seem that worried back in the house." His voice was mean and harsh. "You punched him right in the jaw, Carl! Of course I would side with him, especially since I didn't know what happened."

"But now you know, and you still don't care. You still don't care I could've gotten bitten, and that I could've died." His voice cracked on the last word. "Carl, you know damn well that's not true. Of course I care." He turn sharply, and we were now in each other's face. "Then why didn't you back me up? Why weren't you on my side?"

"I.. I'm sorry." I get why he's angry, because he's right. It was his life at risk, and Ryan just watched him. He shook his head. "Whatever, Sam." He brushed by me and walked back to the house. "Carl-"

"No, Sam. You have clearly shown you don't care about me. I get it, I don't need to know anymore." He pulled the door open to the house, and was now out of my sight.

I wanted to scream, and cry, and break anything I could. But I didn't. Instead, I just sat there, on the dry dirt road. I sat there until the sun started to set, just staring, and wondering. Why did I have to screw this up? This is all my fault. But is he taking this too seriously? He wasn't bit; yes, he could've been, but he wasn't. He's fine. He flipped out for no reason, right?

It's also Ryan's fault. He didn't do anything to help Carl. I know he didn't have an idea of what to do, but he could've at least tried to help, right? But he didn't.

I looked back at the back door when I heard the sound of it opening. Ryan was walking towards me, with a slight grin on his face that didn't reach his eyes like it usually does. I wasn't mad at him when I saw him, like I should've been.I was disappointed. I wanted to talk with Carl, and work everything out. I was alsoslightly annoyed. Why doesn't he listen to me when I tell him to leave me alone?

"Hey." He said as he sat down beside me. "Why are you out here all alone?" I shook my head. "I just needed to think."

"You should come back inside." He suggested. "It's getting dark out, you should be in the house." He grabbed my hand and helped me stand up. I guess he was right. It's too dangerous to stay out at night.

We walked back up to the house, and entered the kitchen. "Where's Carl?" I asked. Ryan's face became nervous and maybe... frightened? "I don't know. He came back in storming, then started yelling at his dad about people who died, and then.." He trailed off. "What else did he say?" I asked. "He said he would be fine if he died." I was shocked. I get Carl's probably mad about a lot of things his dad never did, but saying that he'd be fine Rick just died, that isn't right. Especially when it comes to family.

But that's hypocritical of me. I told myself I was better off without my family. But that was different. My family didn't treat me like any other child. I was always left to fend for myself. Rick isn't anything like my dad. His family isn't mine.

I shrugged the thought off. I don't want to think of them anymore. "Where did he go after he was done talking?" He pointed to the stairs."He just... ran up there. With..." I turned to him. He looked like he was holding back laughter. "With what?" He took a deep breath. "112 ounces of pudding." I raised my eyebrow when Ryan started laughing. A grin crept onto my face. Why? Just, Why? I then turned to head upstairs.

I entered the room my family usually used as storage. It was mostly filled with books my mom always read. I wandered the room, looking at all the things my family had in here. You could say it was a memoir room, where we kept things of the past, and a library combined in with.

I saw a picture in the corner that caught my attention. I walked over to it and picked it up. it was a picture of My dad, mom, brother, and I. We all looked happy and complete. but we were all faking it. We weren't happy. We were lost. We were broken. I walked over to the garbage can, and threw the picture in there. I hated it. I hated everything about it. I'm done. I'm done being fake, and I don't need reminder of when I was. Even though that's all I was in this house. Fake.

I looked out the window, where I saw carl sitting on the edge of the roof, with of course; 112 oz. of chocolate pudding. I climbed out the window and onto the roof. He looked back at me, emotionless, then turned back. I went to his right and sat by him.

"I'm not sharing any of it." He stated. I quietly giggled. "I wasn't expecting you to." He looked over at me, and gave a slight grin. He took another scoop of the pudding before setting it to the side. "Can I ask you a question?" He wondered.  I nodded before he continued. "Was this where you used to live, Sam?" I took a deep breath before answering. No more being fake, Sam. No more. I told myself. "Yea. Yea, this is my.. house."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. "I didn't know how to tellyou. I never got the chance. Besides, why does it matter?"

"Because this is your house, Sam. You lived here." I shook my head. "Yea, with my shit of a family that could have cared less if I died by being mugged or by being raped by some freak driving on the road. I spent more of my life out there, " I motioned to the grassland in front of us. "Than in here. I would never consider this place my house." He was taken back by my statement.

"It was... that bad?" He asked. "What do mean?"

"The things you talked about. I know you were abused by your dad... but no one cared?" I shook my head. "I had no one to care. My mom only cared about the money, I had no friends to care enough, my teacher's just went with it. No one noticed. No. One. Cared..." I trailed off. There was one person. "No one, except my brother."

"Jason?" I nodded. "He was the only one there." We were silent for a moment, before Carl put his hand on my cheek. I looked up at him. "You're so strong, Sam. For everything you've gone through." I shook my head. "I'm weak. I'm just, a broken, weak mess."

"No, Sam. You aren't. Don't ever think you are. Please." He begged. I nodded. He pulled me into a tight hug that I hoped we'd never leave. "I don't care how long it takes, but no matter what; I'm going to fix you, Sam. Don't ever forget that."

I nodded, and looked back at the house in the window, where Ryan was standing. By one glance, I knew he heard everything. Ryan knew my entire past.