Alex's P.O.V.
Not even 24 hours.
In fact, I don't even think we made it 15 hours of happiness, before bullshit always makes its way back into my life. Just popping out of no where, like when you're on the subway and really need to fart, but then your worst nightmare happens.
Literal shit.
Great job, poop jokes in the first paragraph?
Leave the fourth wall breaking to Wade, thank you very much.
...party pooper.
Now who's the one making poop jokes?
I feel a hard banging coming from the inside—
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
LITERALLY JUST SHUT UP!
Pain, making me want to scream. My eyelids feel like someone glued them to my eyeballs, every part of my body groaning from whatever abuse it had taken.
I need to relax. Watch one of those weird ASMR videos that's taking over YouTube, And just relax. I seriously think those things should count as porn.
"Alex" a soft, careful voice asks. I can't recognize it, although it does seem familiar. Something shakes me, making even more pain spread throughout my damaged nerve cells. I bite my tongue to keep from groaning again. I don't want to turn into one of those weird online fan fictions.
What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall?
How come only Deadpool gets to do it?
Because he has a movie, and is more popular than us.
Fair enough.
"Hurry up, douchey Mcdouche-pants will be back soon, and our last conversation was too gay for the atmosphere." I stifle a cough as I blink my eyes slowly open. I try my best to blink away the groggy sleep that's left over from my previous unconsciousness.
"If he weren't such an asshole, he'd be hot." Wade jokes, trying to lift my off the floor. I feel blood running down both my face, and my sides.
"That's what I said, when I met him," I croak as he sets me down onto a metal bench in the corner of the room. I try to make sense of my surroundings, the weird bloody, wire wall, the strange darkness, and the obviously locked, sinister door.
That probably leads to food.
Food sounds good right now, I like food.
Food is always good.
I want Chick-fil-a.
It's Sunday.
DAMNIT!
The level of effort it's taking me to simply breathe, is just totally the greatest thing in existence. I notice Wade's arms are all bloody, matching the dripping walls in the back of the room. Although the skin looks like it already healed, the amount of blood is worrying.
"Are you okay?" I cough, placing a hand on his forearm. He chuckles lightly before placing a palm on my cheek.
"look who's talking," I cough once again, "you look like death."
I felt like death. I probably look the part too, but that's besides the point. Something in me feels broken. Literally, I'm pretty sure a couple of my ribs are broken.
Sure would be nice to have a healing facto right about now.
You're not making this any better.
When do I ever?
Wade gets up from his kneeling position, and stands up in front of me, blocking my view of the other side of the room. The side of the room with the door.
I hear it clang open, smacking against the metal wall.
"Fucking figures," I hear a raspy voice mutter.
"Hey!" Wade suddenly shouts, his arm extending to point an accusing finger at the person, "Don't fucking swear!" The sound of a gun getting cocked rings in my ears, with the loud noise of A handgun echoing in the room.
Wade grabs his thigh, swearing profusely while blood trickles down his leg. He hobbles slightly to the left, revealing non other than Mcdouche-pants himself; Jake.
Who else would it be at this point?
I don't know, leave me alone.
I mean, this is so damn predictable; find something original.
How can I change real life idiot?
JUST A THOUGHT, NO NEED TO SNAP AT ME!
Okay, mother.
"Ah, you're awake!" Jake smiles a sickly, toothy grin, "how ya' feeling babe?" I cringe at his word choice. I've never liked when regular couples call each other babe, but this, this is just disgusting.
"I wonder how I could answer that," My sass surfacing through my pain, "Maybe with some cliché, sarcastic line such as; I feel like a million bucks?"
Jake snickers, taking long strides across the room towards Wade and I. I prepare for the inevitable; and by that I mean for the ass kicking that Wade's gonna give Jake as soon as he comes within 5 feet of either of us.
A small clinking sounds from the floor, as a small bullet falls from Wade's hand. He tightens his Deadpool mask, and leaps towards Jake. A full brawl lashes out on the floor, neither of them using the typical rules of fighting with 'honor', both intentionally going for the kill.
I clench my teeth, slowly sitting up from the bench, holding my sides to give myself support from my labored breathing. I reach inside of my suit, and feel around the padded area around the chest, and zip open a secret pocket that holds a small switchblade.
Bras are great.
I always knew this would come in handy one day, despite the awkward gesture of me reaching into my suit.
Eh, let everyone else feel uncomfortable.
"Wade!" I call out as Jake rolls away from him, giving me time to toss the switchblade to him. He switches it open, and dives for Jake, not leaving any room for preparation as he goes straight for the kill.
"Damn, I should have done it myself," I sigh as the fight is finally over.
"Sure, it took you long enough just to get the switchblade in the first place.." Deadpool pauses, glancing at the blade in his hand, the back at me, "Where did you get this anyways?"
A small blush creeps onto my face, thinking of where it did inf act come from. I don't reply, but I'm sure the blush on my face is enough for Wade, since he merely laughs, sticking the switchblade in his belt, then picking me up.
"Thanks." I mumble into his chest whilst he carries me out of the room. There's no need for him to answer, so he just continues to carry me down hallway, after hallway. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know where he's going.
Neither do you.
Stop being right, for like, 5 minutes.
But then you wouldn't be alive if I wasn't right.
Once again, I say just for 5 minutes.
Because I'm always right.
We turn down another hallway, Wade slows his paces slightly as we approach another corner. I hear footsteps coming from the hallway, I open my mouth to warm Wade, but before I know it we're around the corner.
And you'll never guess who belongs to the footsteps I heard.
"Damn, you're that kid."
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Hello!!! Here's a new update, so y'all can calm your titties! Hope you guys enjoyed it.
Also,
HOLY SHIT WE HIT 11K!! HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? LITERALLY A COUPLE MONTHS AGO THIS STORY ONLY HAD LIKE, 1K READS, AND NOW ITS GROWN! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME!
Although at the same time, since I began writing this nearly three years ago, and at the beginning of when I started writing, I find the early chapters of this story extremely cringey, and I have no idea how any of you guys read that's. Props to my awesome readers.
Thank you again, for dealing with my horrible updating, and waiting around an entire month for most updates.
Last thing, I will try and get another update up here within the next week. Key note, TRY, NO PROMISES! Because I will be extremely busy with tons of stuff up until around the beginning of April, so I won't be able to update for a bit. But like I said, I will try to get an update out sometime this week if I can, so that you guys can be passified for a bit.
Thank you all again!
Can we get 30 votes for this chapter? I worked hard! *gives puppy dog eyes* pretty please? (I'll update 10 times quicker if you do...😏)
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FanfictionA 19 year old girl with a troubled past, becomes the greatest female assassin ever. She's doing great, until someone interrupts her life. And he knows exactly what he did.
