A Kind Of Life Part 1 CSI MIAMI fanfic

day 3

I worked late. She was watching me carefully what really was pissing me off. But tried to stay calm about it. Came straight home, passing the pub. Entered the house and sat of the sofa.
It's hard to explain the feelings I had at that moment like anger, tiredness, numbness but most of all - loneliness. Why things like that keep happening to me?
Went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Whiskey, beer....fuck
I couldn't take my eyes of them.
I wanted a drink so badly... I turned around. Took a plastic bag. Put the bottles into it and took them to the hall. I'll throw them away tomorrow morning.
Made myself two scrambled eggs. Ate fast with no appetite. Sat on the sofa and tried to watch a tv program about UFO... WHAT A SHIT.
My thoughts were still oscillating around the bottles I had in my hall... Only this one last time... I'm starting it tomorrow, right?
I went to the hall and thought that I won't miss wine, but I surely will miss the taste of whiskey.
Whiskey then, I thought and took a sip straight from the bottle...
And another, and another... I forgot how many there were.
When the saviour ( that's nosy Allie)came and opened the front door- as I was unable to stand up and she began to feel sth's badly wrong- I knew I went too far. Far too far. She took the bottles from me and flushed the alco down the toilet. Then she sat next to me. "What did you do? You're a piece of shit." I said. She looked at me surprised.
"What? "
"That what you should ask me now- Allie the Saviour of all fucks" I murmured.
She smiled. "You're not a fuck. You're great Lee- why don't you see it? Why are you so harsh for yourself?"
"I'm a good scientist ,I've always thought. But when a scientist becomes addicted to chemical substances, he's not good anymore. I could tell you many things that I'm not good at.." I mumbled.
"Look at me. Look! I saw you working. You're great. You're brilliantly trained. You're smart and funny, and you are attractive. What more do you want?"
"I'm not ever half or the things you mentioned but thanks, babe." She smiled. "I like when you're saying it ;) but you do it mostly when you're drunk so I hope I'm gonna miss it ;) let me help you get up. Let's go to sleep."
"Will you be sleeping here?"
I was surprised.
"Yep". She smiled "I've got everything I need"- she showed me a bag.
I tried hard to stand up.
I managed to do it with her help. When I turned around, I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt ashamed to look like that with her by my side.
"Did you take a shower? "
"Not yet. I'm not sure if I can stand long enough... "
"So maybe in the morning? "
"Yeah". My cheeks were purple red. 'Oh my God' I thought. 'You're shit Speedle. '
I managed to sit on my bed. I saw her looking around in search of my pyjamas. I told her I usually sleep in my boxers.
"Do you want anything else before I'll take a shower? Promise me you won't go anywhere."
"I promise". I'm not even able to. I took off my tshirt and lied down. I heard the water running in the bathroom. I imagined her standing there... Stop it! Right now! But it wasn't easy. I really liked her. Not only her wit and brains, but also her appearance. These both features were the best mixture for a beautiful woman. Normally I wouldn't have thought of her that way,
but being drunk took away my normal shyness. I imagined her with me, here, now..then she opened the door and I quickly put a blanket on myself, hiding away the result.
"You're not sleeping yet?" Her hair was wet from the shower. She smelled nice and had a funny pyjamas. "Nope. I told you I can't." 
"Ok ,move." she ordered.
"What?"
"Move. I have to have some place to sleep. "
"Here?"I panicked
"Yep. I guess I'm safe huh?"
"Yeah, sure. However it's difficult for me to sleep next to you."
"Why? "
"Oh,come on"- I mumbled- "even drunk I'm still a man..."
"Should I be afraid of you?" she said watching me carefully.
"Hope not. Im not violen't. Never was. But I ..."
"You're not my type, Lee."
"Really? Not your type? But you found me attractive".
"Generally. I hear what other girls whisper on the corridors. But you're just not my type. Sorry.
"I got it, Allie. I won't bother you"
I felt hurt. Although I considered myself rather unattractive, I liked her previous words. Geeezz. I'd love to drink one more... But no. No drinking. Nothing to drink. I lied down on the other side of the bed and closed my eyes. After half an hour, still awake, I turned around to see her watching me. She was crying.
"What's going on? Allie?"
"I can't watch you like that... It's awful. You feel like that every night? "
"Yeah. Every night. Before I manage to sleep for a while."
"Take a pill. You need to sleep. "
She brought me one from the kitchen and I fell asleep. I felt her hugging me and touching my hair. Last thing I remember was that I should be wearing something more than only boxers....