A Kind Of Life Part 1 CSI MIAMI fanfic

just as usual

I woke up around six. Looking at the shape of a body next to me I thought 'what am I doing here with this girl.. ' She was really beautiful. Not a sheer model or something, but beautiful in a special way. Nice face and body, beautiful eyes. Lips to be kissed.
And brains. Geez she was brainy.
That amazed me the most. I've known many women, but none was so smart- maybe except Cal, -but I wasn't dating her after all. I always admired her madly and loved like a sister, but never considered myself to be even a slight interest of her. Sure -Delko, sure- Hagen ,sure Berkeley- but no Speedle. I was aware of the reason, and that kept me in tracks. I remember one night though, when Hagen overreacted at her, I saw her crying in a locker room. I  hestitated if to bother her with my presence but finally brought her a hankie. She took it and smiled, then she hugged me and said quietly 'thank you.' She stayed there in my arms for a while and it felt great- not exactly brother -sister hug, but I was surprised by my body reaction to the situation, so I broke the hug quickly. I just knew we werent meant for each other.
I hated myself for that affection. She wasn't exactly my type and she picked her guys by the pattern- big, strong policemen with firearms. I've never been too close with gun, so I didn't stand a chance. All that mattered to me was her friendship, so I didn't even try.
So why is this one in my bed? Correct- I'm in hers? She invited me and looked like she wanted me after all... Maybe I'm really underestimating myself...maybe she likes brains over good looks...
I got up and made myself a cup of coffee. On my way to the terrace I had a look at the big mirror in the hall- I'm tall and dark haired- I still have thick curly hair, not a bit salt and pepper- despite my age, but the one thing was true- I'm too skinny. Well I prefer that to being plump or have a belly, but I need some exercise. Maybe I should come back to walking or swimming? I looked closely at my shoulder- the scar started almost there- it was really big.
"Hey gorgeous- "I heard from behind- "admiring yourself in the mirror?" Allie was coming my way.
"No. I'M looking at this awful scar of mine."
"Not so awful. You're looking like a war hero" she laughed
"I wasn't even in the army" I chuckled.
"Weren't you?"
"No. After I finished uni, I started working in the lab with a break for the academy."
"You were in the academy?"she looked surprised.
"I told you I'm law enforcement."
"But I didn't know you're a police officer too."
"I'm actually a detective."
"Are you?"
"All of us are. H wanted that. We wear badges and guns."
"Wow, you impressed me"
"Are you impressed enough  to have coffee with me on the terrace?"
"Yeah, but I have to wear sth. I know you don't mind going outside in your boxers only but..."
"...but your neighbours would get a heart attack to see you in that old t-shirt of mine."
"...with no pants on "she finished
"Geez... Why did she say that?"
I turned over quickly to hide the reaction
"I saw it, by the way "she said laughing. "You needn't worry about that, I'm really flattered. "
I felt silly - if she really noticed, she must have been looking exactly the way. She loves embarassing me that way. And being at my forties I'm still reacting like a teen, which drives me crazy. I hurried out.
She joined me after 2 minutes- she was covered in dressing gown but all I could see was the very same t-shirt so I supposed still nothing more on. Shit.
"I need to go home, Allie. Wear sth clean and fresh. "
"It's 5 in the morning. Why don't you stay a bit longer? It's Sunday. And We haven't finished yet ..." she got up and sat on my lap, her hands around my neck.
"Al...lie.." I murmured." I really need to go. Really. "
Not yet" she barked. She sat closer, and I felt her naked body .
"...it's pretty sure you shouldn't. Your body is a real traitor, you know? I love that. Thomas had problems with that, as far as we reached..."
"...Which was?"
"Only kissing and hugging. No chemistry-I see it clearly now. "
I couldn't resist her. Just couldn't. Wanted to take her inside, but she stopped me.
"Al.. It's your back garden... Lots of people around..."
"I don't care. It's my space. Oh come on..."
I lost myself completely.
After all I left her sleeping on the terrace bed. Covered her with blanket and left. I was so confused. I wanted her so much... but there wasn't anything more. No butterflies in my stomach. Just the interest, admiration and -I'm not gonna lie- a desire.
And she looked pretty engaged.
I didn't know what to think about. So I did the thing I always practiced in such situations- I ran away.

If someone reads that- please leave some mark.