Dangerous Love

Chapter 31: Bitter Goodbyes

The table of authority I sit at seems all to tense but at an understandable rate. I noticed how the Amity representaives have a different kind of joy to them, it's a snobby kind like they've won and the Dauntless have lost. But I guess they have and I didn't know if I was devistated or if I should be rejoicing about the matter.

My father's arm has never left my shoulder as we sit in the Dome having one last dinner with the Dauntless leaders which is in the same fashion as the first dinner we had with them. People dance around and celebrate the same way they did when the Dauntless first came, except from the way that I remember it the Amity and Dauntless were getting along just fine unlike this meeting.

I keep looking up at Eric and trying to lock eyes with him but he just stares down at his untouched food as if he wants to kill the cow all over again.
"I'm going to go get some fresh air," I mutter to my dad, despite us being in the Dome I needed to be outside and get away from, all of this.
"Why? Are you feeling ok?" my father's eyes flash concern as he presses his hand to my forehead as if to check for a fever.
"I'm fine," I snap which causes his eyes to widen in shock and guilt to flood my chest.
"I just..." I don't even finish the sentence before storming off and out of the claustrophobic Dome.

Once I'm outside the cold fall air bites at my now bare legs due to the summer dress that I threw on once I got home. I feel completely naked in it honestly, I'd just gotten used to the tight completely covering clothes, my black leather pants along with tank top and jacket should still lie in my room from earlier today. The short dress and spaggetti staps serve to be the stupidest thing I could've possibily put on so I head over to my house in search for something more covering.

"Mercer," the sound of his voice sends nervous shivers down my spine and I turn my head to see his towering figure over me. The darkness of night sends odd lighting over his face making him look much older than 23 years and more burdened than I've ever seen anyone before. My eyes narrow in on him, "You knew," I state my jaw clenching in fury, "You knew they were going to undo the treaty but you never told me." I watch as his shoulders sag, "I couldn't let word get out about it..."
"What you thought I'd go and tell the whole world?"
"No, no, I just," he lets out an irritated sigh, "I just didn't want you to be stressed out even more, you had your job that you wanted..."
"My job? Eric that job doesn't even matter anymore! I don't have it and I never will because I'm no longer Dauntless!" I feel my anger seeping out of me. I shouldn't be letting all of my anger and stress out on him but I do have a right to be pissed at him for withholding that type of information from me.

"I couldn't tell you," his voice is low and dangerous.
"Couldn't tell me? Eric you're a leader you can do whatever the hell you want!" I shout throwing my arms in the air.
"Don't raise your voice at me!" he booms down the pathway that we seemed to be glued to.
"You know what?" I shake my head at his fuming figure, "Good bye Eric," and with that I turn and go to the only place I know, the stables.

Once I'm out of his view I sprint as fast as I humanly can, anger adding onto it all. I can feel myself fume as anger seeps from every pore within me, I can't believe him, I can't believe he thought he could hide that type of information from me especially since it was about me and about my life and my future. But the thing that makes me angriest is that he let me go. He let me leave without fighting for me to stay. He didn't have it in him to apologize, he's just to stubborn and arrogant to realize what he did to me was wrong and he won't admit that. I can't even imagine how different our conversation would've been if he just said he was sorry and that he had made a mistake, but instead he makes up excuses to cover up his tracks.

Making it to the stables huffing and puffing I book it for Angus's stall, sliding the door open I throw a bridle on him not even bothering with a saddle. The sound of clamping hooves meets my ears as he gallops out of the stables with me gripping the bridle for dear life. I forgot how freeing it was to ride, to escape all of your problems and pretend that you can just run forever.