Struggles ✔

Chapter 54.

Alexa's POV

It's been 4 months since Cole forgave Alyssa. Ever since then, the two of them started getting really close. They really are best friends. They would always remember stories from their younger days and share them with us. You'd think I'd be happy that my twin and boyfriend are getting along.

I'm not. I was,but now I'm not. Jealousy has recently become my best friend. Alyssa and Cole became really close,too close. They're inseparable. I'm third wheeling every time I'm around them. It sucks to see that they look so cozy together, and I can't remember the last time Cole and i did that together. For example, they would always cuddle together and just talk about random things. Cole and I haven't done that in so long.
Actually, he and I barely even talk anymore.

I'd love to say that my friends are mad at him ,but sadly it's not true. They're all really busy with each other. Jess and Chase are always together. Recently, Robin and Hailey have been hanging out and getting real close. I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. I sighed deeply as I walked in the hallways of school. I was alone, just like before.

"Awww. I guess your friends finally dumped you like the garbage you are." A familiar vocie says. I looked up to see Ariana smirking at me

"Go away Ariana" I say in a bored tone

"Nahhh. I'm having too much fun. It's so funny how Cole is replacing you with his ex girlfriend. It's even funnier that said ex girlfriend is your twin sister." She snickers

"I mean, honestly, did you REALLY think that you two would last? You're just a plain and boring nerd who isn't even remotely attractive." She continues to speak

"You have no one anymore. They all left you. Just like everyone else in your life. I mean look, your parents abandoned, your adoptive parents abandoned you, your brother left you, and so much more that it's hard to count. You'll never be loved Alexa. Why can't you just accept that? You'll never be loved. You're a pathetic weak ugly waste of space and oxygen."

"I'm confused. Are we talking about Alex or You, Ariana? Cause frankly the only pathetic weak ugly waste of space person I see here is you." A voice says from behind me. I turned around and saw Matt. He had a hand on my shoulder and stood in front of me defensively.

"Oh you're a huge slut too. You're fucking Cole and Matt. Maybe even Chase and Robin too, who knows?" Ariana sneers at me

"You're the only slut around here. Now move bitch get out the way." Matt pushes her out of our way and we make our way to the field.

We sat down on the bleachers. He turns to face me and makes me look at him straight in the eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I smile weakly at him. Ariana really knew how to strike a nerve.

"I guess" I sigh

"Don't you DARE listen to her. She's just a no good mean bitch who is jealous of your beauty and brains." He says. I nod, not really believing him.

"I also heard about what happened with you, your friends and Cole. Don't be upset about it. They all suck donkey ass." He says. A small grin makes it's way on my face.

"Donkey's ass?" I say

"Or like any animal's ass. They're all nasty." He scrunches his nose

"Ass in general is nasty"

"Not when your doing ana-"

"SHUT UP!!!STOP. TALKING. PLEASE. I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT. STOP SUCH NASTY WORDS FROM COMING OUT OF THAT NASTY MOUTH." I yell. He bursts out laughimg so hard. I glare at his laughing body. I gather up the strength and energy, and pushed him off the bleacher.

"Ouchhh" he whines

This makes me start laughing. He pulls me down to the floor with him, and we both start laughing like crazy. It took us a while to calm down.

"Okay. Oh my gosh. Phew." He breathes out

"My tummy hurtssss" I complain

"Aww poor baby." He mocks. I lightly shove him

.
.
.

Matt became my friend that day. We would spend a lot of time together. I'd sneak away from my friends and hang out with Matt. At one point I realized that Matt had other friends to hang out with, so I told him to stay with them. He quickly shushed me and told me that he loves hanging out with me. Matt tends to distract me from the sad reality of Cole and I fading apart. The reality of him replacing me with his first love,my twin sister. It's almost as if we don't know each other anymore. I used to always  refuse to believe it, but now...

Cole doesn't even know that the bullying has started again. This time it's just Ariana. She's been saying things to me that I'd rather not say. Usually, I'd ignore her and just brush her off, but that was before. Now I had nobody to help me and tell me that Ariana is wrong. I was already insecure about being the ugly twin. Ariana just loves to rub that in my face. I used to have Jess to tell me otherwise, I used to have Chase to curse the bully and swear at them for saying such "lies" to me, I used to have Cole to tell me that they're wrong and that I'm beautiful. Cole would comfort me and make me smile a real happy smile everyday. Sure Matt is here for me, but he doesn't know how to help me. He doesn't know that I'm depressed. He tries to make me happy and smile, but I've gone back to lies and being fake. I was slowly losing everything that brought joy to my life.

And now as I stand here behind the bar, I watch Cole and Alyssa dance together. They're bodies swaying perfectly together to the beat of the music. The smiles on their faces never leaving. The happiness in their eyes never fading.

As I watch these two tonight, I realize that all my happiness was now...

Gone.

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