scars || njh

12

******ATTENTION******

***TRIGGER WARNING***

Bella's POV:

I watched intently as the scorching hot water rushed out of the rusty faucet. I was going to do this. I was finally going to be free.

I was finally going to be happy.

They say that when you die you go to heaven and all your worries and troubles disappear. Like all the weight on your chest is lifted. Hopefully that's true.

The bath tub was filled so I turned off the faucet and began to undress. I removed my pants and starred at myself in the mirror. I ran my cold, icy finger tips over my hideous scars. I finally won't have to look at these everyday anymore. I removed my shirt and starred at my protruded rib cage.

I was so disgusting. So hideous I don't know how I was even considered a human being.

I stepped into the steaming water with my underwear and bra on and flinched. Wow that was really hot. I stepped in with my other foot and slowly sat down. My skin was becoming red from the hot water but I kind of enjoyed the burn.

I took a deep breath and layed back, my head just above the water and resting on the back wall. I closed my eyes for a second wanting to savor these last few minutes. To remember what being here felt like. Trying to remind myself how much I hurt and was craving release.

I thought about all the pain and hurt everyone put me through. 'This is just my life' I thought to myself. I'm someone everyone gets to walk all over... but that's gonna change.

You can only push someone so far.

I submerged my head underwater.

I opened my eyes underwater; the hot water stung against my eyes and caused me to squint, it was happening, it was finally happening.

I looked forward to happiness and release. To the feeling of being free and like I was wanted somewhere. I was starting to feel lightheaded, and out of breathe.

I then heard a yell come from outside, it was a man yelling.

I closed my eyes and smiled thinking of myself after I was free from this life. I imagined a girl with brown hair, just like mine, but her's wasn't falling out from stress. I imagined her with blue eyes, just like mine, but her's were filled with tears from laughing too hard, not from crying out of pain and agony. She was curvy and a healthy weight, not a walking skeleton. She wore short dress and bathing suits and wasn't in fear of any scars being seen, because she didn't have any.

That girl was happy and healthy and had a thousand reasons to smile and laugh. I couldn't wait to be her.

Out of breathe, I coughed and felt the scorching water fill my lungs. I pushed as hard as I could against the sides of the tub to fight my instincts and keep my head submerged.

Everything was becoming very hazy and blurry. Things were slowly darkening.

I thought I heard footsteps leading to the bathroom but I was also hearing the calls of angels yelling for me to follow them.

"I'm trying!" I screamed out to them. More water filled my lungs, choking me.

"Come on! Come on Bella! Come on!" they kept chanting.

"I see you!" I yelled to the beautiful angels. I think I heard a bang from outside the door but I couldn't be sure.

I started to walk towards the angels as that beautiful healthy girl. I was wearing a beautiful white dress that felt like it was made of silk. No worries in mind, just pure happiness radiating off of me.