scars || njh

21

"So Bella... how are you feeling right now?"

"I mean I'm feeling okay, a little tired"

"Okay" she quickly scribbled something on her board. How could she possibly psycho analyze me with 'feeling a little tired'. "And are you comfortable talking about your feeling's with me?"

"Yeah... I guess so"

"Great, let's just talk about a normal day for you, on a typical school day what do you usually do" she kept trying to make eye contact and it was making me super uncomfortable.

"Well; I wake up, get ready, go to school, then I go home and go to sleep early. That continues for the whole week"

"Do you enjoy school?"

"No, but I think anyone who says they seriously enjoy school is lying"

She chuckled a bit. "Maybe true. Do you enjoy a specific class? Maybe even just a topic?"

"No not really anything I can think of in this moment. I go to school solely to get my diploma because that's what society says you need to be successful"

"Hmm" she scribbled more stuff down. 'Hmm, what's that supposed to mean?' I thought to myself.

"And do you have any friends at school? If you don't like any classes you must at least enjoy lunch" I laughed a little bit.

"I used to have a friend at school. Singular, one friend only. But he left a while ago so lately it's just been me against the world. And I'm really not a fan of any part of the school day" I forced out a fake laugh and fiddled with my fingers.

"Uh-huh", more scribbling, "how would you say you're treated at school. By the teachers and students" she tried making intense eye contact again.

"Well... my teacher's are pretty nice to me. I mean, they don't really know me but they aren't rude"

"And how about your classmates?"

"Most don't pay attention to me, which I don't mind. Some can be... pretty mean I guess"

"Mean how? If you don't mind sharing with me"

"Typical mean girl stuff; making me drop my books, mean glances, rude remarks"

"And has this bullying ever been violent?"

"Yes..." I looked down at my hands and began picking at my cuticles.

"Would you mind sharing exactly how, sometimes going through the emotions we felt in a situation can later on help us deal with these feelings in a more constructive way" she continued to talk heavily with her hands.

"Well... there was a time when I was in the locker room after school grabbing something. These three girls who don't like me at all walked in after me and basically just started taunting and hitting me. It didn't last long because a teacher heard, but she hit me hard enough to leave a mark", I tilted my head so she could see the still healing cut on the side of my face.

"I'm so sorry Bella". I felt almost embarrassed explaining what they had done. It made me look weak, like a little abused puppy.