Sentinal's Tear (Book #1 in Requiem Series) [formally titled Lacrimosa]

Chapter 27

Aydan

Morning arrives in a blast of color that ignites the courtyard, setting the sculpture of Mikayel ablaze. I sit on the bench, Nesy wrapped in my arms. For the first time in centuries, I don't feel like a demon, can't hear the Beast inside. It's a moment I want to hold onto forever. But wanting it won't make it so. I have but one future. And it doesn't involve anything I want. Anything good.

I stare at the image of Nesy's sovereign, remembering the last time I faced him. There is no way he will ever understand Nesy's choice in me.

I don't understand it myself.

There is so little left of the angel I once was. But with Nesy I feel alive. Pure. With her, the mistakes of my life are forgiven.

Mikayel will know of last night. He always knows. I've put Nesy in danger again. Just like I did in Germany.

I really am nothing more than the Beast.

I think of the consequences of our actions. My death. Her fall. An eternity encased in the flames of the Abyss.

For both of us.

How could I do this to you again? My body shudders as the pictures replay across my vision.

"Are you cold?" Nesy asks, pulling me closer to her.

Her touch orients me. So perfect.

"What are you thinking?" she asks.

"Mikayel. He knows doesn't he?"

Nesy releases me and sits. "Yes. Probably. He usually knows everything."

"There's only one answer for us, Nesy. One future." I swallow hard. I have to do this, do what I should have done already. I have to let her go. "He'll never allow this. Us." I say.

"I know." She pushes further away, her face pained. "I took a vow. I have to—"

I slide next to her and place my hand to her chin, tipping her head towards mine. "Vanquish me by tomorrow."

She buries her head in my chest. "I can't do it," she says. "Not now. Not ever."

"Yes you can. You must."

She will not die again because of me.

"But—" she starts to say.

I place a finger on her mouth. "I love you, Nesayiel. I have since the day I saw you on the farm. I know who you are now, who I am.

"We can have one more day to be together. One day. I want us to spend it in each other's arms. Then, when our time is over, you will do your duty. You will send me to the Abyss and end this. You will restore Mikayel's faith in you."

I watch as tears fill Nesy's eyes, spilling onto her cheeks. Her pain matches mine. "I...I can't," she says.

"You must. Otherwise, Mikayel will just send another team. Or worse, he'll do it himself."

She stares at me, her breath coming in hard, shallow gasps.

I don't know how to comfort her, how to make her see that this is the only way. "I want you to do it. Only you. Sever my ties to Azza. Send me to the Abyss tomorrow. Promise me."

Her eyes begin to dry as determination passes through her expression. She places her hands on my face, sending a chill down my spine. "I love you, Aydan."

"I know. And I want you to do this for me. I don't want to be Azza's monster anymore. I don't want the Beast to be all that I am."

"One more day?"

"One more day."

I pull her into a tight embrace, determined to soak in every ounce of her, let her heal the dark corners of my soul. I tip her face to mine, sealing our promise with my lips. She presses into me, stealing my air. Her lips tremble as they speak of everything she cannot say.

Her love.

Her need.

Her fear.

"Aydan," she says as the kiss ends. "I need something from you." Her voice cracks on the last word.

"Anything."

"You can't kill again. Not while I'm with you. You—"

"I know. And I won't." I softly kiss her lips again. "I'm done feeding. For good."

The Beast protests.

"You'll grow weak?" she asks.

"Yes."

"You'll be in pain?"

"Excruciating."

"But—"

"But I will only have to endure it for a short time. Besides, it'll be easier for you to end my life if I'm in agony."

The Beast stirs, igniting a familiar hunger and reminding me of my vows. My mind focuses only on Nesy.

For her, I will endure the pain.