Under The Spotlight

Chapter 9: Woooohoo Friday!

**** Trigger warning**** If you have issues with self harm just letting you know at the end of this chapter it does deal with self harm******

We finally made it through the week of training. I don't know who was happier about that, us or the rookies. It's 7 pm and Beth and I have finished getting ready. We had decided to pull a Bella and wear matching outfits to the club tonight. We wore ripped skinny jeans, baby blue halter top with a white mid drift vest of the the halter and black knee high boots our hair down and in waterfall curls.

 Were sitting in my room talking and we hear a knock on the door. I walk over "Who is it"? I ask. "It's Seth" I hear him say. I open the door confused as to why he is at my door. As I open it I see not only Seth, but also Dean and Roman. I raise an eyebrow at them "ummm what the fuck do you guys want"?. "Damn your a crab ass" Seth says rolling his eyes. Beth hops up and walks over to the door. "Oh that's for me" she smiles walking over. "He's my date to the club" she whispers in my ear, "Gross" I reply as she walks out under his arm. "So twin A you coming or what"? Dean ask's me. "Yeah I'll meet you guys there though" I didn't want to tell Dean I was going with Sheamus because for some reason his mood changes when Sheamus is within ten feet of me for some reason. "Suit yourself" Roman says as they all walk down the hall and out the door.

 I look at the clock and see that Sheamus should be there anytime now. I started pacing my room. Yes I'm a little nervous okay. I haven't exactly dated since I came here. I hear a knock and take one last look in the mirror. I put my hand on the door knob and let out a deep breath as I open the door. "Wow" Sheamus says with a smile and eyebrows raised. "I can change if you want" I say nervously not knowing the he said that being nice or being embarrassed to be seen with me. "No no no" he says taking my hand "You look amazing lass" he says. I blush and smile thanking him. "Shall we"? he ask's. "We shall" I say looping my arm with his as we walk out and climb into a cab.

 We get to the club and Sheamus pays the cab and opens my door for me. "Thank you" I say. "No problem" he winks at me. We walk in and see everyone from the performance center in a corner laughing and talking and a few of the female superstars on the dance floor. As we make our way over Eva Marie and Cameron walk past me bumping into me purposely. I overlook it not wanting to start shit and getting thrown out. Sheamus takes me by the hand and orders a round of drinks for all of us from a nearby waitress on him. I look around for Beth and my eyes skim over Deans. He looked angry. *This should be fun* I say in my head.

 A waitress comes over and serves us all a shot. I go to hand mine to Sheamus, he looks at me confused. "I don't drink" I chuckle. "Oh come on live a little" he says trying to hand it back to me. "I'm good really, besides I'm not 21 yet" I say refusing it. Dean stands up "I"ll take it" he says grabbing the shot from my hand and downing it. Sheamus shrugs "Okay then". I finally spot Beth on the dance floor having fun with Seth. We lock eyes and she waves me over to them. I take Sheamus's hand and I go to the dance floor. For an irishman he can move. We were all having a blast dancing. Sheamus kept going to basically pull my ass into his crotch as we danced, but I don't know it just didn't feel right so I kept moving out of his lap on the dance floor. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom" he tells me over the music. I smile and begin dancing with Beth and Seth being goofy out there. "Having fun yet"? Beth screams over the loud music. "Yea, it would be more fun if Sheamus would stop basically dry humping me and trying to make me drink" I say laughing. It had been awhile since Sheamus left my side so my eyes started to scan the crowded club. "Holy fuck"! I laugh. "What"? Beth ask's me. "Will you look at Summer and Dean" I point them out. "Dude when did she get here"? Seth says. "Don't know, don't care" I say laughing at the two of them. Summer was basically trying to fuck a very drunk Dean Ambrose on the dance floor. "Do you guys see Sheamus"? I ask. "He probably left knowing he coudln't win his bet" Seth drunkenly says. Both Beth and I stop dancing and turn to look at him confused and in shock. We each take his hand and pull him over to a dark corner. I push him against the wall remembering Roman and Deans conversation at NXT. *This had better be nothing to do with me* I think my stomach in knots. "Start talking Rollins" I demand. He didn't respond, he just looked down with a look of pitty on his face. "Seth" Beth says to him. "Okay, but you didn't hear this from me got it" he says looking at both of us. "Fine"! we say at the same time. Randy bet Sheamus $200 he could pop your wrestling cherry by the end of the week. So I'm guessing because he couldn't get you drunk enough or seduce you on the dance floor he gave up" he says and I feel like I've been hit in the stomach. My eyes begin to water. "Wrestling cherry"? Beth ask's. "They always want to be the first ones to fuck the new female talent and I guess they found out no one got you yet Alex" Seth say's. "I'm so sorry" he looks down feeling sorry for me and that is one thing I can't stand, I'm not a charity case. "Seth are you positive"? Beth ask's him. "Yea" he says. I start walking through the club to find the exit, I just wanted out of there. I was being used. I really thought he was interested in me. It felt good with him treating me so great since I hadn't caught anyone's eye in so long. I walked by the bathrooms and right there in a hallway corner was Sheamus with his lips and hands ALL OVER Eva Marie. They didn't see me so I ran out of the club.

 I was walking back to the performance center alone and heartbroken. I had a lump in my throat and it was like I was choking and couldn't breath. *Why would he do this? The one guy in WWE that I thought was honest, that I thought was my friend* I kept repeating in my head. Without warning the tears came pouring down my eyes.

 I finally made it back to the performance center. As I walked to my room with my makeup running down my cheeks I pass by Matt Bloom. He stops walking and tries to get my attention "Alex!!! what's wrong"? he ask's concerned. After I hadn't responded he started following me. Matt's always been like a dad to me, but I just didn't want to tell him or let him see me crying. I reach my door and before going in I say "I'm good, just these god awful allergies". I open the door and hear him say "Alex please if you need me let me know okay". "I'm good matt" I force a fake smile before walking in and locking my door. I walk by my mirror and stop when my reflection caught my eye. My hair is wild, my mascara is running everywhere. I looked pathetic. I looked at my outfit *no wonder he thought he could have me, I look like a whore* I think to myself. The more I stood there looking at myself the more the anxiety attack rose inside me until it hit me full force. I threw my suitcases off my bed into the floor, threw my pillow at the mirror, walked into the bathroom and swiped everything into the floor off my counter as I screamed. I walked back out of the bathroom into my room panting. I take a long look at my suitcase. *I have to, I can't take it* I confess to myself. I go into the bathroom grabbing tissue and returned to my room again, I pulled off my boots and my jeans and sat down in the floor in my panties. I unzip the suitcase and pull out the bag containing my health and beauty products and open it searching. I pulled out the cold shiny metal from my disposable razor's. I look up in the mirror at myself one more time. I closed my eyes tight as I pressed the razor blade to my outer thigh. Sliding it across I put more pressure with each cut. A familiar reassuring feeling of euphoria overcame me. Even though I knew it would only be a temporary feeling I felt better already as I laid the blade on a piece of tissue watching the thick red substance rise to the surface as I sit there catching the blood on more tissue, my breathing finally returning to normal. After some time I've finally calmed down enough to take a long hot shower and pick up the mess I had made. I grab the stuffed penguin my little brother won for me at a fair when we were younger and crawled into my bed drifting to sleep.