Let Everybody Know - LAMS

Chapter 17 - Wait for him

First of all some things I'd like to say -
Tbh I always make John the one who mucks up real bad even tho Hamilton cheated on Eliza and that's why ppl usually make Alex the one who fucks up but it physically pains me so I literally can't write about Hamilton hurting my baby Laurens. I physically cannot so this is why John always makes the dick moves in my stories. Also I'm trying to make jimmy James and Jefferson nicer. If you'd like me to change anything just ask! I'm v open to suggestions

John's POV

I paced around the waiting room, my shoes scratching against the carpeted floor while my friends either watched me worriedly or stared around the room. We'd been waiting for two hours for any news on Alex's state. All we knew was that the bullet missed his vital organs- luckily and there was no serious internal bleeding. They had stopped any bleeding the best they could so he wouldn't faint and I saw them put him through x-rays and MRI. The nurse told me all this most likely means he'll be ok but I don't know how this works and frankly, I'm too stressed to think about it. Everything in my brain was telling me to calm down and that everything would be fine but a voice in the back of my head wouldn't stop screaming at me, telling and convincing me that he would die. Other than Peggy going a little insane and me stressing out it was completely silent. The only time anyone talked was when someone tried to persuade another person to eat.

I finally sat down in the  blue waiting room chairs, letting my aching legs rest for a few minutes before getting back up again. "I'm gonna go get a coffee" I mumbled, much to everyone's relief. As much as it pained my feet and my wobbly knees,  I couldn't stand  the feel of the waiting room. It's haunting. The whole concept of waiting. Waiting for what? To receive the news that someone you love has died? To wait for confirmation someone you care about will be ok? Waiting for your life to take another tumble down.

I felt a tug on my jeans and I peered  down, making eye contact with a small boy with tousled brown hair and tan skin. "Hi, what's your name?" He asked. I was confused until I realised I was walking past the childcare rooms.

"I'm John"

"I'm Philip" the little boy smiled. "Will you come play video games with me?"

I'd been silently searching for something to distract me for hours, so I nodded and followed him into a childcare room.

"Why are you here?" Philip handed me the Mario kart wheel controller.

"My boyfriend- isn't feeling well" I replied, letting the tiniest of smiles crack open through my otherwise gloomy face.

"I have a boyfriend! He's a boy and my friend! Does that mean boyfriend?" Philip was smiling far too wide for a boy who was in a hospital childcare room.

"Boyfriend means that me and another boy fell in love- a-and we decided to be boyfriends. One day you'll learn" I explained to Philip who looked beyond interested.

"Is it easy having a boyfriend?" Philip inquired while I messily pressed the controller buttons with my shaking fingers.

"No, but it's worth all the hard work".

"Are you gonna marry him?" He suddenly asked. I stared at Philip, my eyes stinging as I tried to hold back tears. "I think you should marry him. Mama says if you love someone you marry them"

"That's a tough thing to think about, Philip. Some people you love, like a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, you don't marry" is all I answered Philip's question with.

"But are you gonna marry this person?"

"Why do you ask?"