Soulless (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

XXIX

XXIX.
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Song of the chapter:
Afraid by The Neighbourhood
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Have you ever gotten the wind knocked out of you? If you have, you'll know that no matter how hard you try to breathe, you just can't. It feels like something is pushing so hard down on your stomach to the point where you can't do anything else other than wait for the agonizing pain and panic to subside.

That was how I felt in that moment. My stomach dropped. Suddenly, I wasn't drunk. I had heard that water and bread and crackers and greasy food reverses being drunk, but I think I had found something else that did the trick.

"What?" I choked out.

He looked down at me, almost appearing regretful. It was a look that had been returning time and time again. I was starting to think he was having second thoughts about me.

"Kennedy, you know how this goes," he shook his head. "I know you're not stupid. You had to have known."

I did know, but I didn't want to believe it. Even though we had only been a part of each other's lives for a week, I didn't want to think that there was someone else and that my time with Justin was overlapping with someone else's.

I felt stupid for thinking anything of him. Sure, I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew that there were always other girls, but he had a way of making girls forget. It wasn't even five hours before that I was saying I wasn't going to fall for his shit, and I still did.

"I'm not excusing this, Kennedy. I'm not," he continued. "I know this is so fucked up and confusing for you, but I think you're different. I think you're worth changing for. I want to cut all ties with anyone else before I go any further with this. I couldn't do that to you."

Jesus! How is it that he is making me feel sorry for him? There is no reason in hell that I should feel bad!

Still I lay there, feeling as if I couldn't breathe. I wanted to yell in his face and burst in to tears and laugh hysterically at myself for falling for his bullshit all at the same time. But I just couldn't do anything.

Fragile little Kennedy.

"Please say something," he whispered. He almost looked pained to say those words, but I didn't care. He knew me for two weeks. He was nothing to me, and I to him.

I staggered a breath and swallowed hard, gathering all of the strength I could conjure up to simply speak.

"Get the fuck off of me. Now," I demanded lowly.

He shook his head. It was unlikely that girls had the same reaction as I did. He never handled someone as sensitive as me. He knew better than that. He knew to choose girls that were more experienced and could handle things like that.

This is too much for you. You're too weak for this game.

"Kennedy, I--"

"I said get off of me!" I shouted, feeling almost traumatized by what was taking place. What bothered me most was that I knew it was going to happen since the beginning. I guess I didn't prepare myself.

He complied and moved himself off of me. I took no hesitation to slip out from underneath him and leap out of the truck. I began walking fast. I didn't know where I was going. Hell, I was in New Jersey and I needed to get back to New York. I had no clue.