XLVIII

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XLVIII.
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Song of the chapter:
Love Galore by SZA
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I woke up the following morning, feeling completely different. Though I didn't sleep much because I was texting Justin throughout the night, I felt refreshed. Everything was okay for the first time in a while.

Although Justin wanted me to stay over at his apartment, we decided it went against our whole "starting over" idea. I guess when he said he wanted to start over, he really meant it. I was more than pleased with the idea, but it was strange that our mouths and bodies knew each other quite well, and that was abruptly put to an end.

So, instead of staying over, we went back and forth all night with messages. Of course, I would have loved to spend the night with him after knowing just how wonderful it was, but I was okay with this too. In a way, I almost preferred it. I felt like I was getting to know him better this way. Slowly.

That morning, I found myself getting out of bed extra early because I couldn't wait to see Justin. The giddiness in the pit of my stomach wouldn't go away, and I loved it. I felt like a middle school girl or something cliché like that. I even paid a little extra attention to my appearance that day, hoping it would reflect my mood (and catch Justin's attention, obviously).

Anna came to my locker before first bell as she always did, immediately noticing the extra time I spent getting ready. She always noticed little things like that anyways.

"Hot date tonight?" she commented.

I pressed my lips together, fighting off a smile. It seemed impossible. Just the thought of Justin made me feel happy, especially knowing how he felt about me. I felt special. I wasn't just the girl that blended in with everyone else anymore. Someone noticed something in me.

"Kennedy," her voice dragged out when I didn't say anything. "Why do you look so nice today?"

I bit my lip, looking at her with an enthusiastic expression for the first time in a few days. It seemed that I had been so miserable before, and it suddenly changed once I had that feeling of security that I craved so badly. Maybe it was what I wanted all along.

Before I could even stop myself, everything that happened the day before spilled from my lips without question. Everything from how I had talked to Francesca, how I had went to Justin's apartment, to how I had finally said what I needed to say, and how he explained to me why he was the way he was. Of course, I didn't tell her exactly why he was the way he was, because that wasn't my business to tell. I even told her the part about how he actually cared about me, because it was the most important part after all.

"Jesus, Ken," she shook her head, her eyes widened with shock. "Do you believe him? Like, do you think he's telling the truth?"

I nodded. "I mean, yeah, it all seemed too sincere to me to be fake. I just really can't believe that it's happening. I don't know how or why or—"

"Do you really think things will be different?"

"In a good way, I hope," I smiled. "I have a good feeling about this for the first time ever. It's, like, a gut feeling, too. I don't know. I just don't feel afraid about this. Not at all."

She shook her head again. "Shit, I can't believe this. Did you actually get Justin Bieber to end his streak?"

As soon as she said those words, I felt the all too familiar feeling of defensiveness rise up within me. I didn't like that she called it a streak, as if it was a bad thing. I mean, she didn't really even know everything. I wasn't going to tell her, but I didn't like the way she worded it. She made it seem like he was the bad guy.

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