Sides of Love|SaiDahMo

-08-

Sana's PoV

"Talagang magpaparaya ka na lang? Ang tanga mo naman. Masyado kang mahina." seryosong sabi ni Mina sa akin. We're in our room. Pinagsasabihan niya ko sa mga bagay na dinesisyon ko, ang paglayo at pagsuko sa nararadaman ko para kay Dahyun.

"Kase nga hindi ako yung para sa kanya. Hindi niya naman ako mahal." katwiran ko.

"Pinangungunahan mo yung sitwasyon Sana. Hinayaan mong paniwalaan ka ni Dahyun na wala ka ng pakialam sa kanya." she said seriously. "You're killin' yourself! Emotionally." she stated.

"Mina... Ginagawa ko lang yung sa tingin kong tama." I answered.

"Ewan ko na sayo, Sana. Masyado kang fair lumaban. Pinapatay mo sarili mo." she said as she wear her earphone.

Hinayaan ko na lang siya. Bumaba na lang ako para uminom ng tubig pero hindi ko na ginustong uminom dahil sa naabutan kong kayakap ni Momo si Dahyun.

Agad akong tumakbo palabas. Gusto kong magpakalayu-layo.

It hurts... so much...

Talo na ko...

Alam kong hindi ako ang mahal niya...

Nagtungo ako sa isang mataas na lugar... a comfort place for me...

Tanaw na tanaw ko ang buong city, mga ilaw sa bawat sasakyan na dumadaan...

Ang ganda ng nakikita ko para sa akin...

Sumabay pa sa nararamdaman kong sakit...

I'm already defeated...

The game is over...

I was the loser...

Dahyun, I decided to stay from you so that everything will be easy for you...

I pretend that I'm okay, seeing you happy with her...

I did pretend that I'm not dying inside even if I'm not with you...

I wanna hug you Dahyun...

I wanna kiss you...

I wanna make you laugh...

But I can't coz' I'm afraid if you said that I'm not the one that you need.

"It's killing me inside. But I have nothing to do just to cry..." I mumbled.

My tears are falling...

How can I move on...

How can I move on if I'm still hoping that you would choose me against her...

I'm very weak...

I can't win your heart...

I can't make you mine...

I can't make you complete...

Why do I have to suffer like this?

Why do I have to fall for you?

I'm giving up coz' I know that I have no chance to win...

Coz' from the very start I was just nothing...

I wish you were here...

I wish you could find me like you promised before...

Flashback...

"Dahyun what if I am lost? Would you find a way to find me?" I asked her randomly.

"Of course." she answered.

"Really? Even if I'm no where to be found?" I asked then hug her from the back.

"Yes. Kahit nasaang planeta ka pa. I will search for you." she stated. "And I promise even if you're no where to be found I will do everything just to find you. Just to be with you, unnie." she said as she kissed my forehead.

End of flashback...

I wish you could be by my side...

But everything is just a wish...

Impossible to be true...

I can't let go your love...

Your love just thought me to hold on...

Now I have to find someone new...

But I can't...

My heart is now into broken pieces...

No one can fix this and I will be hurt forever...

I wanna jump in this cliff so my life would be ended...

I wanna kill myself just to ease the pain...

I went closer to this high cliff...

Nalulula ako sa sobrang taas...

Kapag tumalon ba ko dito mamamatay na ko?

Gusto ko na kaseng tapusin ang buhay ko...

Hirap na hirap na ko...

"I love you so much Dahyun. Even if you broke your promise that you would find me." I whispered.

I was about to jump on the cliff when someone held my wrist...

Then I found myself into her arms...

"What do you think are you doing Sana?!" she said while hugging me so tight.

"Dahyun..." I whispered then cried.

"Ano?! Magpapakamatay ka!?" she shouted.

"You found me..." I just said.

"Why it has to be like this?! Are you trying to leave me Sana?!" she said crying.

"I was just tired." I answered.

"Tired of what?" she asked.

"Of being hurt Dahyun." I spoke.

"Hurt? Is that enough to end your life? Sana hindi mo manlang inisip paano ako kapag nawala ka?" she said sobbing. "What did I do? What's wrong with me? Why are you trying to leave me..." she cried.

"Kase ayokong mahirapan ka. Kase ayoko ng alalahanin mo pa ko. Gusto kong maging masaya ka na sa piling ni Momo, para wala kanang inaalala." I reason out.

"You think I will be happy if I lost you!? Sana you are too selfish! Do you want me to suffer?! If yes, it's all working! I'm suffering coz' you're avoiding me!" she said full of pain.

"I'm sorry." I spoke.

"You don't know how I wish that I'm the one who's with you... Not Tzuyu... You don't know how I wish that I'm the one who's hugging you... Not her... You don't know how I wish that I'm the one who kissing you... Not her... I'm jealous and I'm on pain because you're avoiding me... " she sobbing.

"Dahyun..." I said.

"What? I thought you're strong? I thought you're brave?! But now you're giving up on me without knowing what I feel inside?" she said crying. "I can't live without you... I can't lose you... Please don't leave me..." she pleaded.

"I love you Dahyun... I'm so sorry for being weak." I said as I hug her.

"Don't do that again Sana. Please don't. Coz' I can't imagine life without your hug,kisses,touch... I can't imagine life without you." she whispered.

"Sorry for making this hard for you. I'm really sorry for makin' you suffer... I just hate myself coz' I can't make you mine..." I amswered.

"I'm yours Sana. I'm all yours from the very start. And I really hope that you are only mine too..." she mumbled.

"You own my heart Dahyun." I answered.

"Just please don't you ever try to stay away from me. You don't know how much I've been longing for you." she whispered. "Don't make everything hard for me coz' I will die if I lost you..." she continued.