Juveniles » Fillie

1.1 » Sooner or Later

'Scared to be Loved
And
Scared to Love'

The night before Finn had a bad dream, it was like a flashback to his childhood. He was 12 years old and it was right before his mom left him in his first foster home.

"But mom,"

Finn said grabbing onto his mothers arm

"I love you"

His mom wasn't even phased as she replied

"You shouldn't, because I don't love you. That's why I'm leaving you here."

And there his mom went, leaving him forever.

It was about 4:30am when Finn woke up, he got those memories/dreams often and just tried to shake them off. This time he just couldn't, he thought about when he was with his family.

How his father always called him a disappointment and when he would hear his parents fighting about how they used to loved each other, fighting over what happened to them.

That's why Finn was scared to love anyone, he was scared he'd turn out just like his parents. He wanted to love, he really did, But he was scared to.

Never having someone to pour his heart out into, he really needed someone to do that with. He didn't know what he would do when he did fall in love, because he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

—

The next day Millie woke up and just didn't feel right, not like her normal self. She felt sad, no depressed is a better word. When you're sad most of the time you can just push the feeling aside.

But when you're depressed, it gives you this feeling as if you want to lay in your bed forever.

"Come on Mills, we're gonna be late for breakfast!"

Finn said placing his hand on Millie's shoulder, she rolled over to face the wall

"I don't feel good, go to breakfast without me"

Millie said blankly

"Well, maybe eating will help"

'Nothing can help' Millie thought

"Just leave Finn"

Millie said in a harsher tone than intended, but didn't make an effort to apologize as Finn left the cell.

There would always be days that Millie was like this, it was a part of her that she hated. She always let herself become lost in her sad and anxious thoughts, always making things worse for herself.

She always thinks back to when she was 8 years old, when her family and most everyone else still loved her. Sometimes she wishes that she stayed pure, that she wasn't so adventurous.

Millie really did miss when her family loved her, she missed feeling loved. But that was exactly why she told herself that she would never let anyone love her again, because she thought that they would stop loving her at some point too.

But she was a flirt, she played with boys emotions and lead them on. She fears the day she catches feelings for someone, because she knew it would happen sooner or later.

Having enough of listening to her feelings Millie forced herself out of her bed and went to her dresser grabbing her cigarettes. Walking back over to the window as she lit one of them she sighed after inhaling the smoke.

She didn't think that some much time had already passed but either way Finn came back into the cell. Well, she didn't know for sure that it was him but it could be a murderer for all she cared.

"Here, for you"

Finn said making Millie looked at him, then down the the rose made out of a napkin. She forced a smile as she took the small rose and set it down beside her.

"Look Millie, I'm not asking you to talk about anything. But I know that something's wrong, and I just wanna help"

Millie stayed silent, half of her wanted none of this but the other half knew that Finn could help. As he stood up she said:

"I'm scared to be loved, Finn"

Hearing those words made Finns heart drop, he turned around to her with wide eyes

"And I'm scared to love, Millie"

He said pulling her into a hug so that she wouldn't see his tears. They were there for each other, always.

A few minutes had passed as Finn pulled away from the hug still letting his arms rest around Millie's waist as her arms were around his neck.

"I don't care anymore, I just want you to be mine"

Finn said keeping his eyes close scared to see Millie's reaction. Millie was taken back, she was nervous and scared, but also wanted this more than ever.

"I'm just afraid that we'll break each other apart Finn"

Millie confessed

"Well that's just a fear of yours, not a fact. So please, let's just give it a try"

"Okay, let's give it a try"

She agreed, making Finn suddenly pull her face up to his giving her a quick kiss then pulling back as he began to run around the room like a cat chasing a laser red light.

Millie stood there with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face as she watched Finn with amusement. He eventually slowed down falling onto his bed

"I mean yeah, um that's cool"

He said causing Millie to laugh as she went to lay down next to him

"And just so you know, I'm glad that we're officially together too"

Millie said turning over to face him, giggling at the shade of red he was turning. She grabbed his hand and laced their fingers as she put her forehead on his.

"I really do like you a lot, Wolfhard"

Millie said noticing Finns smile grow

"And I like you a lot too, Brown"

And like may turn to love, sooner or later.

This chapter was so short and boring

I actually really fucking hate my writing so much like it's so shitty and pointless.

I changed the name of the chapter more that 8 times and I kept deleting multiple paragraphs at time

I don't get why this book has over 1k, it's so sucky.

Okay I'm done hating on myself now

Bye