Breaking Your Own Heart

Before You're Here, You're Already Gone

"So she's not a bitch at all?" Ashley watched her best friend roll her eyes again. After doing Kelly's makeup for the CMA Awards, she quickly flew out to LA for she had some work to do for a couple of magazines. She was only hearing the story about her night out Carrie Underwood a week after.

"No, she was really nice." Kelly dug in her breakfast mostly tuning out what Ashley was rambling about. It was true though, the country singer was extremely nice to her except when they woke up the next morning and Carrie was freaking out on her at first. She didn't have to tell Ashley that though.

"That's all you're going to tell me?" Ashely frowned. "Kate told me you were both drunk off your asses when you got here."

Kelly sighed and got up, walking over to the sink, bringing her bowl with her. "Ash, seriously, it's too early to be talking this much."

Ashley laughed at her friend's behavior. It was really early though, and Kelly is not a morning person at all. "Alright, well go take a shower. We have to be there in thirty minutes."

Kelly grumbled, walking up the stairs to her bedroom. "What interview starts at seven in the morning anyway!?"

•••

A week after waking up in Kelly Clarkson's bed and Carrie can't still take her mind away from it. "What on earth was I thinking?" She mumbled, still in bed at nine in the morning.

Mike was already done making breakfast for himself when he heard footsteps coming from the stairs. "Morning."

"Morning." Carrie gave her husband a half-smile before proceeding to the refrigerator and getting herself a bottle of water.

"The team and I are going out today." Mike said, taking a bite of his bagels. "I'll be hone late so don't bother waiting up for me."

Carrie only gave him a nod before exiting the kitchen and back to their bedroom. It's not like she cares anymore.

Mike sighed, watching his wife walk out on him again. Ever since the miscarriage, Carrie had shut him out of her life and tries so hard to avoid him, their conversations never lasting for more than three seconds.

Carrie felt her heartbeat quicken as she walked passed the nursery. It had been months since the unfortunate event but she refused to see it. This time, without second thinking about it, she opened the door. The bright blue paint of the room greeted her and she was quickly overwhelmed.

Mike can hear loud sobbing coming from the second floor of the house, he rushed up the stairs and found his wife on the floor of their supposed-to-be-child's room bawling. He sat down behind her and took her in his arms, trying to comfort her.

For a second, Carrie allowed her husband to cradle her until she couldn't handle the closeness anymore. "I can't breathe." She pushed him away, gasping for air. "I can't breathe, Mike." She repeated, wheezing.

Mike quickly shuffled to his feet and carried her back to their room and sat her down on the bed. He propped up pillows behind her for leverage then loosened her clothing.

Carrie used to have panic attacks every since she rose to fame. Fortunately, she had recovered from it a few years into the business and only experiences it occasionally.

Mike had gone through it with Carrie for a few times now after being together for four years so he already knew what to do when it strikes. "Deep breaths, Carrie." He guided her until her breathing went back to normal. "You're okay. I'm here."

Carrie fell in Mike's arms weakly, a few stray tears streaming down her face.

"I love you." Mike whispered, stroking her hair while his other hand wrapped around her torso holding her tightly. "I'll always be here." He mumbled in her ear and kissed her temple.

Carrie sobbed silently. She always hears Mike say those words to her yet something inside her stops her from saying it back ever since the miscarriage. She felt like she let him down and he deserves someone better than her, someone who can give him what he wants.

The married couple stayed sitting on the bed in complete silence until Mike heard the faint sounds of Carrie's breathing even out. He gently laid her down on the bed, pulled the covers up to her chest and left her alone to rest. On his way down to the living room, he texted his teammates cancelling their plans.

•••

Kelly was back to her senses when she heard someone cursing. She looked to her right to see Carrie Underwood clutching the sheets to her chest and looking at her incredulously.

"What the hell happened last night? Why are we naked? What the fuck?"  The only thing that's stopping her from getting up was the fact that they were sharing the sheets, if one of them got up then one would be exposed.

Kelly didn't know how to handle the situation when she barely remembers anything as well. 

When Kelly didn't answer, Carrie sighed, feeling a little guilty for lashing out at the singer when they were obviously both at fault. "I'm sorry." She breathed out. "Obviously we both had too much to drink last night when we don't remember anything about what happened."

Kelly just nodded still at a loss for words. "I'm sorry, I just, I really y have bad hangovers and I can't describe just how much my head hurts right now."

"I'm sorry, how about we get dressed then maybe we can cook up something for breakfast?" Carrie suggested then stopped talking when she noticed where Kelly was staring at. Clearing her throat, she spoke again.  "And while we're at that, maybe you can try looking at my face too?" She teased.

Kelly's face reddened and looked down instead of at Carrie. "Sorry." She knew Carrie was only teasing though she can't help but feel embarrassed.  "How about that breakfast you mentioned?"

Author's Note:
Comment if you wanna know what happened between Carrie and Kelly the night of the after party  and I'll make a flashback chapter about it :) anyways, don't forget to vote and thank you for reading!