Breaking Your Own Heart

You Don't Have To Walk In The Shadows

It was as if she'd seen a ghost, Kelly stood by her front door speechless, unable to move or to even respond at the other singer's statement. The country singer looked so vulnerable yet so breathtakingly beautiful at the same time and she was mesmerized.

Carrie stayed in place, waiting for Kelly to say something. Each second that passed only made her shiver more in cold. Why hadn't she bothered to bring a coat when she left their home?

The sound of Carrie's teeth chattering brought Kelly out of her trance. "I'm sorry, you must be freezing." She spoke, ushering the other blonde inside.

"I'm sorry, I must've woken you up." Carrie apologized as Kelly guided her upstairs to a guest bedroom.

"It's okay." Kelly smiled, handing Carrie a towel. "Why don't you go take a shower while I get you some clothes to change to. Then we can talk."

Carrie nodded. "Thank you." She proceeded to the bathroom once Kelly was out of sight. She reminded herself to thank Kelly again once she was finished. The girl is definitely too caring.

Kelly sighed when she entered her bedroom. She had completely forgotten about her one-night-stand the moment she laid eyes on the other blonde taking a shower in the next room. "You have to go." She spoke, all the while picking up the clothes on the floor and handing it back to the owner.

"What do you mean I have to go?" The lady clutched the sheets tighter to her naked form. "Why are you getting dressed?"

"It means you have to leave my house." Kelly spoke coldly. "Get dressed. Quickly." She added, before digging into her drawers for a set of pajamas to lend to Carrie.

"Are you kidding me? It's storming outside." The blonde refused to get dressed. "Come back to bed."

"I said get dressed and leave." Kelly repeated. "If you're still here when I come back, I won't think twice in dragging your bare ass out of my house."

The blonde rolled her eyes before doing as she was told. "Where am I supposed - "

Kelly left immediately as soon as the blonde started getting dressed. She didn't need to her the end of her sentence, she can figure that out on her own. Right now, Carrie needs her. She left the clothes on the bed before proceeding downstairs to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for Carrie. A smirk crept on her face when she heard the front door slam shut, meaning the blonde was already gone.

Carrie dried herself off, putting her hair in a loose bun before stepping out of the shower and back to the bedroom. She smiled to herself when she saw a fresh set of clothes on the bed.

Kelly turned on the fireplace, pulling out two bean bag chairs from a walk-in closet before going back up to get Carrie.

Carrie heard three knocks on the door before she saw Kelly's head peek in. "Hey." She smiled. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, still debating inside her head whether to tell the Texan the truth when they 'talk' "Thank you again for this."

Kelly smiled back. "I made hot chocolate downstairs, you want some?" She asked, motioning with her head to go outside.

Carrie smiled in return and followed the Texan out of the room and downstairs.

"Sit." Kelly commanded before turning to get themselves two mugs of hot chocolate. "Now, would you like to tell me what happened?"

Carrie accepted the mug, smiling as Kelly sat down on the bean bag across from her. She thought for a minute, nobody ever really knew about Mike and her having problems with their marriage nor anything about a baby or the miscarriage. They kept all their rough patches to themselves.

"If you think, I won't be all ears all night, then you're completely wrong."  Kelly spoke again, to try and take Carrie out of her daze.
Carrie gave the other girl a small smile, not sure where to start exactly. "October 29 this year, I had a miscarriage." She started, unable to meet Kelly's eyes that were staring at her. "Which was my third one since Mike and I got married."

Kelly can see the tears that started streaming down Carrie's face and she so wanted to tell her that it's okay, that she doesn't need to tell her anymore because she couldn't bear looking at how defeated Carrie looked at the moment, but a part of her doesn't want to. She needed to know what happened. She wanted to know the reasons why the country singer seemed so closed-off sometimes. Why her mood suddenly changes without any particular reason. She needed to understand her. She kept quiet though, afraid that if she spoke, she'll ruin the moment and might cause Carrie to stop telling her what happened.

"The doctor couldn't explain why I keep having miscarriages, she just said she's sorry and that a lot of women experience this. She told me that I shouldn't blame myself and that there's still a chance for me to actually bear and give birth to a healthy baby in the future, but I couldn't listen to her anymore. All I know is that I had to leave her office as soon as possible because if I didn't I might breakdown and I didn't want anyone to see that. Not even my husband." Carrie continued speaking, unmindful of the tears that were running down her face. "The look on his face is just,"
Kelly pulled her chair closer to Carrie's and brought her mug down to be able to wrap her arms around Carrie, who's been sobbing. "I'm so sorry." She apologized repeatedly like it had been her fault. She didn't know what to say to make the other girl feel better. She's not even sure if anything she'll say will help Carrie in any way so she just settled in a comforting hug.

Carrie accepted the embrace and buried herself into Kelly's arms as if she could take all the pain away. Her eyes shut, trying to calm herself down and stop herself from crying.  But it was all too much for her. The look of hurt on her husband's face is implanted in her mind and it hurt her to know that she was the cause of it.

Kelly didn't let go of Carrie up until her sobs died down and her breathing pattern evened out. Looking down at a sleeping Carrie, she smiled smally. The poor girl had cried herself to sleep. As much as she didn't want to wake her up, they couldn't stay in this position all night.