Breaking Your Own Heart

Down A Lonely Road

"Mike I don't want to do this!" Carrie yelled in frustration. Just a few days ago, she was having the best time with her friends and husband, but now she can't even look at him.

"But Carrie," Mike knelt in front of his wife, taking her hands in his. "I don't know what to do anymore. You need help and this is the best solution I've got." Downstairs was a therapist Mike had been contacting for the past days to help with his wife's situation.

"I don't need therapy or counselling or whatever the fuck you think I need!" Carrie shouted again, standing up, walking as far away as she could from her husband. "I want to be alone."

"Care please, just one session and if you end up not liking it, you won't have to do it anymore, I promise." Mike didn't dare to follow his wife, he knew she'd only walk away from him and that was the last thing he needed.

"I don't need help." Carrie glared at her husband who was now standing.

"But you do. You can't and you don't have to deal with this on your own." Mike continued to convince her. They had excused themselves downstairs for a good fifteen minutes now and his wife hasn't relented yet.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't need you or some stupid shrink to help me. I'm fine, Mike!" Carrie stormed out of the room, grabbing her keys in the process. She needed to get out of the house.

Mike sighed, chasing after his wife who he luckily caught before she was out of the front door. "Carrie please."

A bewildered therapist sat on the living room couch, watching an almost familiar situation happen in front of her. Seeing as her patient is still reluctant and the fact that she will be late for her next appointment with another patient, she offered to leave and come back in a few days when Carrie will be ready enough.

The moment Mike tore his eyes away from his wife to apologize to the therapist, Carrie was quick to run to her car, driving off to the unknown where she could be with herself and no one bothering her to talk.

×××

Jason walked in the living room to find his daughter sleeping on the recliner with his sister. Jadyn's favorite storybook lay open on the coffee table.

Kelly had always been close to her nieces and nephew, no matter how rarely she sees them. She'd sometimes bring them on tour with her, have them on stage and let them dance their hearts away.

Jason silently picked his daughter up in his arms and brought her to his room, then returned with a blanket to cover kelly up, knowing how easily she gets cold.

His sister has the biggest heart out of anyone. She would always put herself last just to be able to help others and it didn't matter how much she has to sacrifice.

"Hey." A smile crept upon Kelly's face once she saw her brother, cleaning up the mess she and Jadyn had made in the living room. "We totally fell asleep, huh?" She chuckled, stretching her arms out, a big yawn escaping her mouth.

"Out like light." Jason laughed. "Why don't you go on up to your room and catch some more sleep?" He suggested, knowing his daughter might have wore his sister out from too much playing.

"Nah. Ashley and I are going out tonight and I need to get ready." Kelly stood up, folding the blanket that was once wrapped around her.

"And by out you mean?" Jason asked. He didn't like the fact that his sister has been going out a lot, hooking up with different girls almost every week.

"To a bar." Kelly grinned sheepishly.

"Kel,"

"Okay, wait, I know what you're going to say." Kelly cut his brother off. "I'm fine alright? I know you're just looking out for me but I'm good. You don't have to worry about anything."

"If you say so." Jason sighed.

Kelly smiled. "I love you Jas, you're the best big brother anyone could ever ask for." The hug she gave him lasted for a minute, before she pulled away. "Okay that's enough before we go all sappy and senti."

Jason laughed. "Alright. " He patted her shoulders twice before letting her go. "But behave, you hear me?"

"I'll try."

×××

Carrie had been driving around for hours and hours. Though her tears had come to a stop at some point, her heart still felt heavy yet very much empty at the moment. To say that she was confused would be an understatement.

Mike had left several messages to his wife the moment she was gone from their home. He'd been driving around himself, hoping to find her and convince her to come home.

Carrie parked her car somewhere along a back road. He listened to her husband's messages, him apologizing repeatedly and begging her to come home. She sent him a text, stating how she just needed space right now and not to worry about her not coming home. She shut her phone off, throwing it in the back seat before reclining her seat back.

Mike slammed her hands down on the steering wheel. They had been doing so good the past  few days and of course he had to screw that up. He had to give up eventually, he knew his wife is a woman of her word so he believed her when she said she'll be home soon. There was no point in chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught.

Carrie lay still, staring at the roof of the car. She wanted so badly for her brain to just shut off for a minute. Only it wouldn't cooperate. Instead it run a mind of its own and decided to think more of that horrible night when she lost her baby. She didn't know when, but it started raining hard, the weather somehow affecting her mood more.

×××

The Clarkson household was quiet. Jason and Jadyn needed to leave immediately when the girl's mother told Jason to bring their daughter home as soon as possible. Ashley decided to stay in the bar more while Kelly left to go back home with a gorgeous blonde whose name she doesn't even remember.

"Oh god, Kelly." The woman beneath the pop singer panted, her breaths coming more short and sharp as she neared her high.

Then the doorbell rang. Kelly ignored it at first, she was so close. So close and she didn't need anyone interrupting that. Until the doorbell rang nonstop, irritating her to ends. "I'll be right back." She spoke to the girl who was just as disappointed as her. She grabbed a robe from the bathroom then hurried downstairs. "I swear to God if this is Ashley." She mumbled, under her breath, barely finished tying her robe together. "I'm coming, damn it." She cursed again when she almost tripped over her own feet but was glad that the ringing had finally stopped. Kelly composed herself, stopping in front of the door before opening it. "Carrie?"

Carrie stood on her front porch, hair and clothes soaking wet from the rain. She didn't know what to say. Why did she go there in the first place? Why couldn't she have went to her best friend's house instead?

"What are you doing here?" Kelly asked, just noticing how red the country singer's eyes were.

"You still owe me, remember?" Unable to hide the crack in her voice, Carrie pressed her lips together and left it at that, for if she spoke any more, she'll only end up breaking down. Again.