Sigh.... I know that it has been a long time since I updated any of the stories on my account. I know you probably all hate me and trust me you wouldn't be the first. But as some may know last week was the one year aniversary of my fathers death closely followed by his birthday and its just been hard because I sit and think of all the things i could have done to help him and it hurts because of my parinoia and other thinking things i feel like he looks at me from heaven and hates me because im alive and hes not. I could have helped him. If i had made him do what he was supposed to then maybe he would still be here. But i also know that he would not feel that way because i know my dad. He was proud of the few amount of fews I got within a few weeks of being on here and he would probably be disappointed that i have stopped writing... He would want me to continue writing and chase my dream of being an author. He would want me to be happy but i just don't see the point in being happy sometimes when i think about him. on the anniversary of his death i went to school and watched everyone go throughout the day like it was just a normal day but for me it was torture. all day trying not to think about it only to just to think about it more. I ask that all of you try and spend more time with your dads. Please. DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE I MADE AND TAKE YOUR DAD FOR GRANTED!
Because.... one day you'll wake up and they won't be there anymore... you'll be woken up by a loved one or a call and get told that your father passed away earlier that morning and you will stand there in shock not wanting to believe it because you think if you just ignore it.... that if you don't believe it that you'll just call him in a few hours and he will pick up the phone as always and you'll talk and laugh and everything will be ok.
You will feel like a nuclear bomb just got dropped in your heart. It's in so many pieces that you wonder if you'll ever be able to put them back together again because he was you rock. you only get one dad and you don't realize how much they mean to you and how much you need them there for you until they are gone...
And im not trying to get attention. Im not trying to make everyone cry. But Just know that i will try to write more because i know my dad would want it. I was thinking of maybe doing something for a different anime than Death Note... I'm sitting in my room at 3 in the morning because i just had to get this off my chest. If i lost my mom i don't know what i would do. I would have no one... please don't ever take your parents for granted. Love them. Respect them. Let them know that you love them and you will miss them. because it sucks. it sucks losing them. especially if your young like me or even younger! because you only got a short amount of time with them.
This is getting rambly so ill leave it here... i put it only on this books because most ofmy readeres read this so i really am sorry. im gonna try to be a better author....
Thank you guys for understanding and not constanly blowing up my pm's with requests for updates.
