Love for Two

Modern Heartbreak

The high school sweethearts were finalizing a divorce neither of them truly wanted.

Tino still loved his soon to be ex husband but he couldn't keep up the facade of happiness. How could Tino's marriage have fallen this far? Tino's heart ached when he looked at his husband. It was an ache of longing for things he no longer had.

Berwald didn't love Tino, he loved the idea of Tino. In truth, he loved high school Tino, free of work and real life. Tino had become practical and calculating, his spontaneity had died.

Modern heartbreak began with liking another mans picture on instagram and ended with shattered glasses and tear stained cheeks.

Berwald downloaded Grindr secretly and started going on dates with men who did not know Tino and did not care about Tino's feelings. Berwald did not mean to hurt Tino's feelings, though that felt like a stretch even to Berwald. He had only wanted to meet new people.

Berwald tended to be a quiet man who seemed incapable of hurting his husband, Berwald spoke little but was not harmless.

One date led to five more which led Berwald to a relationship with a chatty man named Jared.

Tino knew about Jared. 

But, Tino did not feel hatred toward Jared. Tino's eyes flared with anger and his lower lip quivered whenever he would hear Jared's name. Tino's chest would ache and his fists close but none of that was hate. It could only be described as heartbreak. Berwald acted as though he was only friends with Jared, he pretended Tino was in the dark. A thought that was meant to ease Berwald's guilt.

The war between the power couple started when Tino unfollowed Berwald on instagram.

"Hey, um, Tino did you unfollow me?" Berwald had called across the apartment, a little surprised.

"No, why would I?" Tino had replied with no trace of honesty in his voice.

Tino kept doing subtle things to snub his husband, it was his way of letting Berwald know he was unhappy. Tino no longer felt joy or wanted to spend time around Berwald.

Something inside Tino snapped. He dyed his beautiful blond hair and started staying out late.

Berwald knew what he'd done wrong but he couldn't fix it -no, he didn't want to fix it.

Berwald remained silent whenever Tino brought him to parties. Adult parties were unexciting and the only reason Tino and Berwald were seen together. Couples invited together must attend together. They take pictures of each other to post and act like they are still in love.

At a particular party in late June, something happened. As Tino aimlessly talked to a friend from high school, he heard sounds of a fight. He and his friend ignored it until Berwald appeared. Berwald was clearly upset.

"Tino. We're leaving." He'd hissed in a rage.

"W-why?" Tino had asked, eyes wide with fear.

"We can't discuss this here." Berwald retorted, his face deadly calm but his eyes betrayed his true emotions.

Tino nodded, he still trusted Berwald. Yes, despite everything Tino trusted Berwald.

The two had walked to the car after exiting the party quickly. "I heard people talking about us. About me and.... And..." Berwald flinched at having to admit to his affair.

"Jared, I know." Tino supplied, hiding his hurt.

"Yeah, the people also talked about you being mentally unstable." Berwald added weakly.

"Did you fight the guy?" Tino asked even though he knew Berwald had.

Berwald didn't respond.

The pair never talked about that party again. Berwald never told Tino about how he punched a guy for calling Tino a "mentally unstable slut" because that was Berwald's husband you asshole.

The thing is, Tino knew how his marriage would end the moment he said yes to the proposal. He said yes because he loved Berwald.

Standing in front of Berwald now, he had few regrets. "Berwald... This divorce will tear your fragile mother apart." Tino stated, he would never try to talk Berwald out of the divorce, he only intended to rationalize with him.

"I don't want to her hurt but I also don't want to continue hurting you. I know you're unhappy with me and I know I haven't been a good husband. You deserve better." Berwald replied, his voice soft and his eyes wet.

"I know you love Jared." Tino whispered.

"But I don't love Jared. Part of me still loves you." Berwald said gently.

"Oh." Tino replied, emotionless.

It was getting late and he needed to change into his pajamas and sleep. Berwald knew Tino's schedule but refused to leave him alone that night.

"Tino..." Berwald began softly, eyes searching Tino's for emotions.

"Yes?"

"Tino, I'm spending the weekend at Jared's." Berwald said, shifting nervously. He seemed agitated.

"Ber, are you okay?" Tino finally asked.

"I think Jared wants to marry me."

"You know I'd rather not talk about him. And anyways, does he not know the divorce hasn't been finalized?" Tino asked, a cold expression crossing his delicate features.

"Well..." Berwald started, his expression guilty.

"He doesn't know we're married, does he?" Tino asked, his eyes narrowed. He clinched his fists and tensed his shoulders.

Berwald began to fidget and he felt his face heat up. He couldn't meet Tino's eyes and wished he could disappear. "N-no."

Tino felt a wave of anger which subsided into a quiet dread. If Jared didn't know Berwald was married, who did he think Tino was? Did he even know Tino existed? Tino had never met Jared but he knew about Jared. The same couldn't necessarily be said for Jared. For some unexplained reason, this set Tino off. He had built Berwald up from a shy teenager who never spoke into a man of character. Someone with honor and dignity. Berwald had just thrown away everything Tino had ever done for Berwald.

Tino clenched his fists and squared his jaw in defiance of Berwald's very existence.

He could do this without Berwald and stupid Jared.

"Does Jared even know I exist?" Tino asked.

Berwald nodded yes but couldn't bring himself to speak.

"I'm glad we're getting divorced." Tino said angrily.

Berwald's eyes widened as if that wasn't something he could understand.

And with those final words, Tino walked calmly into his office to finalize a divorce. A divorce he wanted more than anything.

-Two months later -

"You know, Jared and I broke up." Berwald said over his cup of coffee.

"Why?" Tino asked, he almost didn't want to know.

"He wanted to get married and I didn't even love him. I haven't loved anyone how I love you." Berwald said as he wistfully set his cup down.

"This is certainly a start but you know it'll take more than weekly coffee to rebuild everything we lost."

"I know and I want to rebuild it all. I regret daily what I did to you." Berwald replied, his eyes shown with emotion.

Tino smiled lightly at this. He wasn't sure if he believed Berwald's desire to rebuild their relationship. He almost wished Berwald would just sign the damn divorce papers.

"Couples therapy is a good start for us." Tino said and Berwald agreed wholeheartedly. "You know I'll do anything for you."

Tino smiled faintly, somehow he knew Berwald would come back to him. Berwald belonged with him, after all.