Spaces {Malum}

T̶W̶E̶N̶T̶Y̶ O̶N̶E̶

Calum's POV

I looked at myself in the mirror and let out another sob as I could barely recognize myself. My eyes were bloodshot and had horrible bags under them. My cheeks were puffy and red with tears continuously running down them. My hair was a mess, but not the usual kind. The worst part?

I had no idea why the fuck I was having a whole panic attack.

I'd nearly fully kissed Michael. Our lips touched, barely, but they touched. Michael didn't flinch or anything. He seemed perfectly fine with it. He should've been the one freaking out. Not me. What was wrong with me?

I heard a knock on the door. "Calum? What's going on, bud?"

I opened the door after hearing Luke's voice. Luke gasped when he saw the state I was in and ran in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He pulled me into a bear hug, and I sobbed on his shoulder.

"What's going on, Cal? I've never seen you like this before....what's making you like this?"

I stayed silent, just wanting to enjoy my best friend's presence. Times like this make me feel like there could be a chance that everything would be okay, but I knew that was a lie. After a couple minutes, I stopped crying and stared at myself in the mirror again, taking in my disgusting appearance.

"I don't know what happened. Michael's making me feel so many new things, Luke. He makes me feel pain, so much pain, even if he doesn't do anything. All he has to do is smile at me and I'm already thinking about crying. I don't know why. I think I like him a little too much, and knowing that he won't be mine hurts.

"I don't know what went over me, but I tried to kiss him. Just a minute ago. And he wasn't flinching or anything. He seemed to be completely okay with it. But then you walked in with Ashton and I just started freaking out. I haven't even looked at Michael. He probably hates me."

Luke chuckled. "Calum, Michael was grinning from ear to fucking ear when we walked in. He seemed so satisfied with life, like when Harry got a kitten. I'm sorry that I interrupted your moment. I'll knock next time. But I'm ninety nine percent sure that Michael enjoyed it. I don't know why you're freaking out so bad. It's gonna be fine."

"I don't know why I'm freaking out either," I admitted, wiping the small tears that stayed put on my cheeks. I suddenly laughed out loud. "God, I look like a fucking train wreck. How did it come to this?"

Luke shook his head as he turned the shower off. "You fell in love. Crazy shit happens when you fall in love. And you're just finding out your sexuality? Your emotions are so fucked over right now. I promise it'll get better within a few weeks, though. You'll get through this. I know it," Luke smiled at me. Luke has always known how to cheer me up, but at this moment I knew I could count on Luke for basically anything. He was my partner in crime.

"You're right. Thank you. I love you, bro." I hugged my best friend one last time before getting out the bathroom. "I'm gonna fix myself up. Help me find a better outfit?"

Luke nodded. "What else am I here for?"

MICHAEL'S POV

"And literally, I could have spontaneously combusted right then and there. That's what it felt like! Like a million fireworks exploded right by my heart...or in my stomach....I don't really know. But it was amazing! The electricity was wild."

Ashton continued to listen to me with a lopsided grin, his elbows on the coffee table and his head resting in both hands. Today, he had on black skinny jeans with a jean jacket and a while crop top. There were Ray Bands keeping his hair out of his face, and to he completely honestly, my best friend was slaying the game. That wasn't the most important thing on my mind, though.

Calum was.

"S-so why did h-he run away?" Ashton asked. I shrugged, frowning.

"Maybe he didn't like it. Maybe he thought it was a mistake? I wouldn't blame him. I'm not the very best kisser out there. We barely kissed though! I don't know, maybe he freaked out cause he's straight or something.

"He's not st-straight," Ashton stated with a giggle. "C-can't you tell?"

I smiled at Ashton, hearing that his stutter was getting way better than before. I had to thank Luke for that later. "I can. He was the one that made the move. Maybe he freaked out cause he was scared. I was scared too. He touched me, Ashton. He touched me. And i didn't flinch at all. My body accepted physical contact. Isn't that amazing?"

Ashton grinned and nodded. I thought about it myself for a minute. My body had to have been changing or something. Would all that trauma disappear? Can I finally be...normal?

I heard the stairs creek and saw Calum and Luke walk down towards us. Calum had a smile on his face, and he looked...good. His hair was put into a quiff and his face was washed, almost looking slightly glowing. Of course, his eyes still looked sunken with exhaustion and he was very pale, though. His outfit had changed. he had on a white t-shirt with a black long sleeve shirt underneath, and black basketball shorts.

"Hey Michael, can I talk to you for a minute?" Calum spoke timidly, as if h were scared to say anything. I nodded and got up, following him to the kitchen. We stood there for a minute in silence.

"What's up?' I asked, trying to get him to talk.

"I'm sorry for running away from you after I kissed you. And I'm sorry for kissing you," Calum made eye contact with me. I smiled.

"You don't have to apologize for that. I quite liked it."

Calum looked down at the floor with a smile. "I shouldn't have done it, though. I know you don't like to be touched."

"See, there's this thing. When you kissed me, I didn't freak out. I didn't feel weird and I wasn't scared. That's the first time I felt normal in years, Cal."

"I guess that's a good thing then." Calum grinned up at me and I nodded, "Really good."

It was quiet for a moment before I decided to pop the question I've been wanting to ask for age.

"So....you into guys now?"

Calum shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, it was really nice kissing you, nicer than anyone else I've ever kissed before. I mean Luke will always be the be-" Calum froze when he realized what he said. My jaw dropped as I begin to laugh.

"You've kissed Luke before, yet you'd always say how straight you were?"

"It was years ago! We were little teenagers and he knew what he was and wanted to try and kiss me. I didn't think anything of it."

I continued to laugh, even slapping my knee because this was hilarious news to me. "What else did you do? Give him a blow?" When Calum turned red and stayed quiet, I began cracking up even more, not being able to handle it. Was I very jealous? Yes. But this was so fucking funny.

"That was gold, Hood. Honestly gold. I'm weak. But, at least I know that you're gay. That gives me more options," I smiled.

"Options for what?"

"To do things."

"Do what type of things?"

"These things." I leaned towards him, but for some reason my body screamed at me to go back. My muscles froze and I felt paralyzed for a moment, but I did my best to fight against it because right now at this moment, I knew for a fact in my heart that Calum wouldn't hurt me. I leaned again and placed my lips on his, giving a quick peck before moving away as fast as I could. Calum's eyes widened as he looked at me in shock. He suddenly started to adorably giggle, and he put his face in his hands.

"I like those things," he whispered, rocking on his heels.

I smiled. "Me too."