Climbing The Steps Of Adulthood

Chapter 14: Friends

Have I ever mentioned that I have this crying pic on my dp  for ages now and that I'm adamant that I'm not changing it until I get a job?.

Let's just say it has been up there for quite a while..

My contacts however, have been getting uh, antsy I guess?.

The keep asking me if I'm alright and my display picture is depressing..

This is it:

However I really don't really care its MY display pic after all.

And it basic is me... I'm not happy.

Come to think of it I've never really been genuinely happy in like...ever.

Fortunately I'm okay with that.

Because I  know that one day, someday I will be. I'm gonna make sure of it.

Lately my friends have been saying that the reason I'm still unemployed is because I act like I'm better than some jobs.

While they said it rather harshly than I'd like to admit they are kinda right. But me acting like I'm better than a job is worded completely wrong.

I just don't see myself doing certain things . I mean my life sucks at present and then to increase the sxckiness by doing something I hate? I'm already on the verge of depression more than I'd like to admit but I'm coping and I know that I'll be fine in the long run... Hopefully.

I brushed off their comments by doing what I do best... I just acted like it didn't really affect me you know... It just  goes to show that maybe... Just maybe ... They see me as a disappointment too.

Or maybe I'm just over thinking it.

Or maybe I'm the one seeing myself as a disappointment...

So a couple weeks ago I saw this ad in the newspaper saying that they need persons to work on election Day.

All you gotta do is bring your I.D and stuff.

I told my friends about it and so o decided to sign up sure it isn't permanent or anywhere near that its actually just for a day.

They pay you for your services and you go on your merry way only you actually nget dome cash when you leave.

Honestly I've never done it before but I know some people that do...

OK scratch that I know of people doing it.

Well I'll just have to wait and see if I get called.

I tried being optimistic about getting a job so far I've been unsuccessful.

I've been questioned by my friends about me not praying enough. But I do pray it just feels like my prayers aren't being answered.

Up to the point where I begin to question if there really is a God.

I know your not supposed to do that but its occurring a lot lately and I can't seem to stop my mind from straying.

I am grateful for everything that I have now and I wouldn't change it for the world but I really need to start working and soon.

My friends told me about some praying techniques km going to try them out and see what happens.

Naturally I'm not... Well considered a spiritual person but I do believe in God.

They began talking about one of our former classmates and how she got a job at a bank and many who gave gotten jobs in say financial institutions as well as those who got jobs in places not as high and how that's what I should do but i act like I'm above some jobs.

I'm compared.

I hate being compared.

I reiterated again saying that they got connections in order to get those jobs I don't have any connections whatsoever.

So I really have to start from the ground up.

At least when I do attain a job I will like I actually deserved and I was chosen solely based on the person that I am and the skills I possess and because some one put in a word for me.

They were then saying that I don't want a job and that's when I actually blew and told the one that saying that to fxck themselves.

I stopped messaging in the group that that consisted of four of us its been two days since I've said anything in the group.

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Sometimes your friends won't get you.
But just understand that they'll always be there for you even though they're hurting you and are oblivious to the fact.

*Stay tuned!

*I just had to out! *_*