Climbing The Steps Of Adulthood

Chapter 13: I Know This

So my dad just call me...
He said I should think about going to school to learn a skill...

But I don't want to that, I mean don't disagree with my dad and all but I've done so well in school I really want to attend the college I applied to last year.

I deferred because I knew my poor family would be bankrupt if I had gone.

And now its kinda like he's saying give up.

That's the reason I need a job so much, I NEED to save for college I have to so I can contribute to my tuition.

Sure there are colleges here but I've been here all my life I need a little exposure you know?.

I want to see the big city, see what everyone is talking about when your at the city of lights.

I'm supposed to stay with my great aunt IF I get to go there.

Because right now its not looking up so well and things like these never happen to someone like me which is one of the reasons I never really put my hopes up... For anything...

I know applying there was a little far fetched, I always had a doubt about but I just thought that maybe... Just maybe. This one time I actually wanted something it'd work out.

I'm naturally a pessimist...

And I think it's because life has curbed me that way. But I've tried belong optimistic about certain things and I get the same results so what's the point?.

I'm just try to figure out this whole rollercoaster called life.

Which is why I endured staying with my sister even though she was being verbally abusive.

I NEED A JOB.

I'm trying to be optimistic that I'm going to find one soon but its just not looking up to me.

Sure I want a job where I'm actually comfortable but right now I'm really desperate at this point.

Its all so much to take in.

All at once.

Sometimes I wonder if I should get a sugar daddy and then I'll be fine.... But I don't think am gon WANT to give sugar a mean come on!.

Its just sucks, I understand where my fathers coming from he doesn't wanna see me wasting my life away but I really think I'm going to get a job soon.

Trying this optimistic thing.

At this point in my life I really don't know what to do I mean I have all these qualifications and I still can't find a job.

Was the economy this bad all along?.

I know being an adult isn't easy... I know this.

Life sucks what can I say.

_\\\\\_____\\\\//___\\\\\\\_______\\\\\_________\\\\\\______\\\\\\____

Bleh