So this is my life

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Every night when it was time for my final break I would always follow the same routine of grabbing some food from behind the bar and heading outside into the beer garden alone. Always alone. For a 23 year old I was living an okay life I guess. Well or so it would seem. I never went to college after school, I moved straight in with Dave my middle school sweet heart who wanted to "take care of me". At the time this did seem appealing but with the stress of paying rent and other bills we started to argue within weeks. Turns out he was not who I thought he was. In fact he was controlling, manipulative and still is. 

I have been thinking about leaving him for a while now. But after the way I left my family behind in Iowa I doubt I even have a home to run back to now. Yep California is where my home is now with Dave! Urghh just thinking back to how I handled things makes me sick to my stomach. Dave lost his job a year ago because he was becoming a drunk. I had no choice but to find this job in a bar just down Huntington beach. It was always quite in the back bar area where I was stationed. Quite is what I preferred. Round the front though is where it gets loud and full of drunken assholes. I never really talk to other staff here unless I have to. I am not here to make friends and if I did ever make friends Dave would probably have something to say about it so I never risked it. 

I always daydream about the same thing...leaving Dave and going out to live life for myself. I must of been daydreaming a while as my manager came across to me to ask if I was ok. "Something bothering you Cass?" She said with a small smile. She was a lot older than me but she always came across as someone I could probably easily become friends with. "Not really just thinking" I smiled back all coy while unwrapping my sandwich. Linds, my manager just continued to stare at me while smoking her cigarette for a few seconds longer before squeezing my shoulder and heading back inside. I could tell she knew something was bothering me but I never liked to involve people in my issues. I finished up my food quickly and drank my soda before heading back inside. 

"Hey Cassie!" a small voice called from behind the bar. I peered round the wall as I hung my jacket back up to see it was Katey. The only girl who ever makes the effort here to invite me out each night after work. Of course my answer was always no because if I was ever late home I would be sure to have something thrown at me. I smiled as I opened the glass washer to load it up ready for closing time. "So erm... we are all heading to the rock and blues bar after work...you coming?" She was always so sweet but I was not here to make friends. "Sorry I can't Dave will be at home waiting for me" I replied effortlessly. "Oh ... Okay" She smiled walking back through to the other bar. Nobody else ever came through to talk to me but Katey. She was a nice girl don't get me wrong but she would ask me all the time and I could tell I was upsetting her with the constant no.

I was the last person out as always. Linds was waiting by the door for me to lock up. "Hey lass! You sure your okay?" She shouted to me as I headed down the road. I turned back smiled and nodded then kept on walking home.  I wasn't okay I knew what was going to happen as soon I got in the door. I walked the 10 minute stroll down the beach bar strip back till I reached the apartment block. It wasn't great to look at but with me having to pay for bills and Daves alcohol it was all we could afford. I strolled up to the door casually preying he was in a good mood tonight then unlocked the door. Dave was passed out on the sofa bottle of Jack in hand drooling all down himself. I took this as a rare chance to head to the bedroom and get a good nights sleep without confrontation.

As I reached the bedroom I closed the door behind me quietly and started to undress before catching myself in the mirror. I paused for a minute watching myself stand there not knowing why I had to change so much. My hair was a dull mousy brown, long and had no style to it. My shirt was ugly as hell and hid my figure completely. My trousers were loose to hide the shape of my legs and my shoes were plain black flats with nothing to them. I wore no makeup at all  I looked like a 50 year old  grade school teacher. I looked nothing like how I used to. This is what my wardrobe consisted of now. I wasn't even aloud to wear nice lingerie anymore. I had to wear what Dave told me to at all times. Even my night clothes were granified night dresses. I moved closer to the mirror to check out my pale lifeless skin. I was never aloud out except to work so never really caught the sun. This was all because he wanted me all to himself and nobody was aloud to even look my way. 

Falling for the devil!                             a zacky vengeance fanficWhere stories live. Discover now