Falling for the devil! a zacky vengeance fanfic

The worse mistake you can ever make

Zack's POV

I hadn't slept well at all last night since Cassie hung up on me. I had tried calling her back but she never answered. I knew I had truly lost her but I was still willing to try even if it meant going back to counselling to get more help. I fucked up and I didn't know how else to fix things. I needed to fix myself first. I had slept on Matt's sofa the past two nights because I didn't want to be next to her empty room. I grabbed my phone and called the shrinks office. "Hello Huntington beach medical centre" The women answered cheerily on the phone. "Hi I was a patient with the counselor last year. I would like to book an appointment to come back", "Was Dr Williams your counselor?", "Yeah he was" I sighed unsure of how he was going to react to me relapsing. "Dr Williams is retired now but we have a new counselor who is very experienced in many different issues. I am sure she will be willing to help" I paused for a second unsure of what it would be like telling some old women my sex addiction problems. I sucked it up and decided for Cassie I would do anything. "That's fine, when can I see her?" I sighed. "Well are you busy today?" Today? better get it over with I guess. "Yeah I am" I gave the receptionist my details and was asked to make my way down soon. I got up and grabbed myself a coffee from the kitchen. "Hey Zack how you feeling today?" Val smiled cooking some eggs and pancakes. "Could be better" I slouched against the breakfast bar drinking my coffee. "She reply to your text?" She continued. "Yeah"."And?"...."She was mad at me, I am taking a step though to prove to her that I mean what I say" Val handed me a plate of eggs and pancakes and I dug in trying to focus on today. "Did you tell her you love her?" Val questioned sitting oposite me. I shook my head feeling bad. "Maybe it is best you wait to do that part" She smiled. I quickly finished up and told Val and Matt where I was going. 

Both seemed supportive and Matt gave me his car keys to get there. Once at the medical centre I headed down to the shrinks office and waited in reception for the receptionist to tell me to go in. When I first started counselling I used to always watch her at the desk in her pencil skirt. I always thought about fucking her on that same desk but now all I could think about was holding Cassie just one last time. "You can go in now Mr Baker" She smiled. I walked into the Shrinks office to be shocked at who greeted me. "Good morning Zack, I am Dr Farroh...is it ok if I call you Zack?" I nodded gulping as I saw how much she looked like Cassie. "You ok Zack?" She smiled signalling for me to sit. I nodded again clearing my throat as I sat down. "I have read your files and I think I am up to scratch on your past sessions. Could I ask you why you feel the need to come back?" She seemed to not judge at all. I couldn't help but look at her shocked. "I had a relapse" I said bluntly. "Oh? Tell me what happened" She asked getting out her pen and notepad starting to take notes. "Well, I was doing good for a while. I didn't get any urges and if I did I managed to push it to one side and not do anything. Then I got to know this girl at work and my urges became too unbearable." I looked down at the floor wishing Cassie could be hear right now. "So you had sexual relations with this work colleague?" She asked not taking her eyes off the paper as she scribbled away. "Yes" I whispered feeling ashamed. "I do not believe this is a relapse if you had sex one with girl Zack..." I cut her off wanting to explain myself. "I used her and hurt her badly. I slept with another women while seeing this girl. I couldn't control myself I wanted sex Cassie didn't feel well to give it to me so I found it else where and I didn't even feel bad till I realized I lost Cassie" I tried my best to hold back the tears. 

"So you was in a relationship with this girl Cassie?". "No not really but I led her on to believe we was working towards that. I lied to her to keep a sexual partner" My own words stung. God I was a shitty person. I tried my best not to look at the shrink she just looked too much like another Cassie. In a way it felt like I was talking to Cassie right now which helped but this was to weird. "Ok so then what happened?", "Well I regret now what I did and have realized that I have feelings for Cassie but I am scared it will happen again, I came here because I need help to make sure I don't do it again." I looked up briefly at the shrink and noticed I could see the top of her stocking, my mouth slightly opened of the thought of touching her legs. "Oh god!" I spat standing up pacing trying to rid the thoughts from my head. "You ok? What's wrong Zack?" She asked standing trying to calm me. I breathed deeply trying to stop myself. "This is really difficult" I whispered. "I know it is hard to talk about Zack but trust me, you will feel better for it. She is very lucky to have someone like you who cares about her so much.", "No you don't understand..."I turned to look at the shrink who was now standing near me biting her lip. Why was she biting her lip? "You look exactly like her". She smiled at me obviously feeling amused. I sat back down as she watched me before heading to the door and locking it. I wondered what she was doing but thought maybe she locked it to stop anyone seeing me from freaking out like this. "So why is it hard to talk to me just because I look a bit like Cassie?" She questioned sitting down beside me. I gulped feeling ashamed. "Because I am getting urges, it's because you remind me of her". "It must really be torture to have to talk to someone who reminds you of the women you care about" She suddenly had a flirty tone. I looked at her hand which was now on my thigh I didn't move or push her away. I looked at her face not seeing her but seeing Cassie.