What Now? (Carl grimes fanfic)

Chapter 18 - Not-Cheesy

"I miss this." I said taking my turn eating the pudding. "I just have one question. Why only one spoon?" I looked over at Carl and he just shrugged.

"I don't know." I handed him the spoon back. I eyed him for awhile until he finally noticed.

"Okay, I wanted to make everything up to you. I'm sorry that I've been a selfish, big-headed, two-faced jerk. I really am."

My mouth was wide when he finished. "You know yourself better than I thought you did." I told him leaning back on my elbows. He laughed and I joined in with him.

"I know I won't be able to ever repay you for hurting you like I've done. And I know you probably won't take me back but I truly am sorry." his body was turned facing me at this point.

"Yeah you hurt me. You hurt my heart. In fact you crushed it, but I never stopped loving you. We may argue a lot but you know what they say, That's what shows you love each other. Cause love hurts. So do you still love me?" I looked at him hopeful.

"Of course I still love you. Or I wouldn't be sitting on a roof with you in the middle of a zombie apocalypse eating pudding." He said looking back at the walker he had trapped in the room. It's arms reaching out the window towards us. I laughed and he scooted closer to me sliding his arm around my waist.

"Oh, and that makes three." he said looking down at me. I scrunched my eyebrows together, "What?"

"That was three questions." he said and I slapped his arm. Not-cheesy.

***

We headed back to the house and the whole way back, I prayed that Rick would be awake. I wasn't for sure if he was just passed out or if he was actually dead.

We found out just how dead he was when we made it there.

He still hadn't moved from the couch. His chest didn't even rise and fall. I sat with Carl on the floor as the sun went down. The bright blue skies fading into a black starry night.

My head was laid on Carl's shoulder. He seemed in a daze. His eyes focused on his father in front of us. I didn't bother him though, I knew he needed the quietness to think over things.

It was late when I was awoken by movement from the couch. My head lifted from Carl's shoulder and both of our attention on his now moving father.

Instantly Carl went into a panic, retrieving his father's gun from across the room and sitting by my side again. He held it up in the direction of the couch. Rick now falling to the floor and his arm stretching out to us.

Carl and I were now crying. We couldn't lose Rick. Not now. He was our life line. The only hope we had left.

I buried my face in Carl's back. Not wanting to see Rick like this. I waited for the gunshot to go off, but it never did. Instead, it was a voice I thought I'd never hear again.

"Carl" that raspy, choked voice spoke. I looked up to see that Carl had dropped the gun. He reached out to his father, crawling over to his body on the floor and laying his head in his lap.

I also crawled over to him. Placing his hand in mine. "I'm sorry." Carl whispered over and over.

All Hope's not lost.

****Morning ****

We all three sat side by side in front of the couch. Chowing down on cereal. Rick and Carl were catching up on their father- son talk. I, on the other hand, was daydreaming about the rest of the group. I thought of how Judith might still be alive. And Maggie and Glenn might be too. Then I thought of Carol. How much I missed her being that mother figure to me and Daryl being like a father to me. We were two peas in a pod. I found myself thinking of someone I've never put much thought into. Lori.

I never really learned anything about her. Just small memories Carl used to tell me. But he never told me what she was like. I began to put an image of her together in my mind. If only I could have met her. Rick knocked me out of my daydreaming, sending all my thoughts flying everywhere.

"What?" I looked at him dumbfounded. He had a crooked smile on his face as he glanced over to his son who was blushing red.

"I said, I hear your back together again." I smiled also feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. Carl laughed pulling me closer. "As a matter of fact, we are." I told him confident, Elbowing Carl as I did so.

"Ow." he whined. I just rolled my eyes. Boys.

"Well I'm glad." Rick told us. A sincere smile was on his face. It somehow made me feel a little better inside. That was until there was a knock on the door. Rick and Carl up on their feet in an instant. We all know good and well that walkers don't knock to come in.

Carl helped me up from the floor then immediately pushed me behind his back. Here we go again. I can protect myself! But I liked feeling safe when he was all protective so I didn't complain. His gun was raised a little to the door. Waiting for Rick to peep outside the window.

When he did though, a smile was on his face. He started laughing and Carl and I looked at each other confused. Are we missing something here?

"Rick! What is it?" I asked clearly anxious as to why he is laughing. "Dad!" Carl fussed.

All Rick could muster out was, "It's for both of you."

A/N: I want to give a big thank you to all my readers! 4K reads is like, totally awesome! I appreciate all the comments and opinions. It reassures me that you guys love what I'm writing. Plus, I know I have all your support. So THANK YOU!