Chronic Love | Lucaya

one · pulmonary fibrosis

pulmonary fibrosis
flashback
⟅ m.h ⟆

The doctor repeated the words again to my mother who was inconsolable. She held the used tissue near her nose. I sat there, emotionless. I knew something was wrong when I woke up, not able to breathe at all. Actually, not being able to walk one block without hyperventilating.

‟So what are the treatment options?” She asks wiping her eyes knowing that we can't probably won't be able afford the treatment

‟Treatment options for pulmonary fibrosis are limited as the disease is progressive” He explains eyeing me and my mother ‟- meaning that it's worsening over time. The prognosis or the outlook is poor for pulmonary fibrosis. The life expectancy for most patients is less than five years.”

My mother broke down again. I couldn't react to finding out I was sick with a deadly disease.. I look at my mother who was really heartbroken.

Even though I didn't react. I wanted to live. I am only fifteen.

‟Since it’ll be hard for her to breathe, I suggest you get an oxygen tank with a nasal cannula something she’ll be able to carry around.” He finished tapping lightly on his clipboard

Great. Now I have to carry around a oxygen tank until I die. In the next five years or less.

‟O-okay” My mom barely spat out she was still really crying. I could’nt even find the strength to hug her and tell her 'It’s gonna be okay'

We left the doctors and my mother had her mind on getting my oxygen tank. I dragged my feet slowly behind her as we got to the car.

‟I’ll get to that as soon as possible.” She breaks the silence turning her attention straight unto me who had zero emotions at this time ‟Okay?”

She waits on a response from me for a second.

I nod and we get into her car. As we were on our way home it began to rain. I found it soothing to hear the rain drops hit the window. I lean my head on the window and listen to the classics my mother played on the radio.

We arrived the building we lived in. I immediately went straight up to my room and I could feel my mother watching me go up the stairs. I sighed deeply and lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

sixteen years old.
present

I've been carrying around my oxygen tank for a few months and I guess it was fine for me to return to school. After taking forever to get dressed I made it downstairs.

‟Good morning sweetie.” My mom says with a smile as I pulled my oxygen tank down the stairs. ‟Are you ready to go back to school?” She asks pulling the strap of my backpack up on my shoulder.

Before answering I looked down at the handle of the rolling bag my oxygen tank sat in, ‟Yeah. I guess” I answered with a small sigh

While we were in the car we sat in silence until my mother spoke up ‟I signed you up to go to a support group... you can meet others with the same or similar problems like yours.”

‟I don’t need friends mom. That's why I have Riley and Farkle” I replied glaring at her through the rear view mirror

‟Sure. Riley is your bestfriend, but she won’t understand you the way they would.” She made a valid point. She won’t understand me, but I don’t care for anymore friends than I have now.

‟Okay. I’ll go” I say laying my head back unto the window. We arrived and she looked back at me.

‟Go in there and wing it” She say and I snorted slightly stepping out of the car. My mom was such a weirdo. I exhaled before entering the school doors. I felt uneasy going in here.

Once I was inside making my way down the halls I started to feel a little better. Everyone was chatting and attention wasn’t on me.

‟Maya!” A familiar voice yelled and I spun around to see Riley standing in the middle of the hallway speed walking towards me. I met her halfway and I pulled her into a hug

‟Tell me everything” She pulls my hand towards our lockers

‟Firstly, I’ve been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. I have to carry around this oxygen tank” I say pulling the bag the tank was in closer than it already was towards me

‟But, you’ll be okay - because it’s curable?” Riley answered and I hear the happiness in her voice

‟Opposite. Life expectancy is kinda low” I replied and she was getting emotional ‟Relax, I’m fine.” I reassure her placing a hand on her shoulder ‟I have to go to a support group this afternoon” I say opening my locker

‟Support group” Riley repeats ‟That’s great.”

‟Again, opposite. I don’t need more friends than You and Farkle”

‟Oh come on. It should be good. Give it a chance” She replies closing her locker

‟Where’s Farkle anyway?” I asked fixing the cannula in my nose

‟One of his morning clubs” She replies walking as she drinks water she retrieved from her bag

‟Farkle isn’t gonna miss one meeting isn’t he?”

‟Nope.”

We both giggled and walked to get closer to our first period class. After school, my mom was on break from work and she took me to my support group.

‟I’ll be back for you or Shawn may come..” She says placing a hand on my forehead

‟The new guy you’re seeing?” I say with confusion on my face looking at the amount of people walking into the building

‟Yes” She says looking at me

‟Eh. He seems decent” I say looking at her with a smile. She smiles back and I get out the car ‟I’ll see you later” Waving at her I walked toward the door and someone holds it open

‟Thank you” I softly replied and followed the people

‟Welcome to this support group. I’d like for everyone to stand and tell us about themselves?” A brunette woman suggests. I hated doing these. I gathered what I was gonna say because they were on a girl beside me.

‟My name is Kaelynn Friar. I’m fifteen and I have stage three lung cancer. My brother came with me to support me today and I couldn’t be happier” She finishes and her brother was watching me.

‟My name is Maya Hart. I’m sixteen and I have pulmonary fibrosis. Which means I basically can’t breathe on my own” I say sighing lowly and sitting down, her brother smirked at me and I look down to keep myself from smiling.

Sabrinacismylife, I stole your picture. Thanks :)
You guys have waited long enough - 💛