Meeting Mom

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Your POV: When I opened my eyes again, I smiled at the familiar garden. "Where are we?" Kira asked. "It's hard to say. This is where I normally talk to her. Just follow me, the bench is toward the waterfall."

After about a minute, I pushed through a bush and smiled at the familiar hair on the back of mom's head. "Mom?" I immediately sensed tension from Kira and Neesan.

She turned her head and smiled. "Hello my darlings. Come, sit. I'm sure you have many questions." I walked over with no hesitation of course, but Neesan and Kira stayed in the middle of the bush looking at Mom as if she were foreign.

I guess to them she was though. I wonder if they felt how I did when I first saw her again, questioning if she was real...

I shook my head. They never got to meet her. They have no reason to be in awe or feel so overwhelmed.

Well, maybe they are overwhelmed, but not for the same reasons. I felt love, happiness, euphoria.

They probably feel uncertain, uncomfortable, awkward.

I looked them both in the eyes. "Come." Silently, they both sat on the bench across from this one.

Mom smiled. "Kira...I've been watching you from above. You've grown into such a strong young woman. I'm so, so proud of you. You've been through such harsh things, but pull through every time without fail. If there's anyone who can withstand Raven, it's you."

Kira tensed, but mom continued.

"You look identical to y/n, but you are both very independent from each other. You've lead a very different life. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to raise you. But I'm also relieved that your adoptive family was. I'm sure they love you as their own. And I love you very much as well Kira."

By now Kira was teary eyed. Mom opened her arms, and Kira leapt into them letting tears fall down her cheeks.

"I love you so much mom. I don't want to let go of you when this is over." Mom didn't reply. She just held her daughter.

After releasing Kira, she turned to Neesan who was looking at her as if she were a traitor.

It made me want to punch him honestly. She is his mother. You don't look at your mother that way.

"Neesan...I know you must be upset with me." "Damn right. I don't know you. You were never there. You are nothing more than a stranger to me. I never had a family. I can accept that I have sisters. They didn't know about me either, so they aren't guilty for not being there. But you. You always knew about me. You chose not to contact me, because we both know you could've if you really wanted to. To me, you're just a traitor."

I was boiling with rage. "Neesan!" Kira and I both snapped. Mom put her hand up, telling us not to interfere. "Girls, leave. We'll tell you when to come back. I need to speak to your brother alone."

I glared at Neesan before leaving with Kira into the forest to explore.

Neesan's POV: As Kira and y/n left, the traitor began to speak.

"I understand why you're upset with me. Nothing may ever change your anger. But I want you to know I would  never have left you if I had been given the choice. You've grown without anyone to support you for a long time, that is, until Mika and Wyan." I tensed. "How do you know them?" I asked sharply. "I've been watching from above Neesan. I've watched you grow, mature into the young man you are now. You've been through so much pain and loss. But I never worried, even when you made decisions most would disapprove of."

I knew she meant the robbing gig.

"I knew you would find your way. I had faith. I still have faith because you are my son and my son is a good person." I clenched my fists refusing to let this woman get away with the "I loved you but I had to give you up" card.

"Why didn't you contact me? You know I have spiritual powers. You could've tapped into them." She frowned. "You are right. But if I had, would you have trusted me? As we speak I feel your distrust, your pain. You would never have listened to me. That's why I had to connect with y/n because I knew she'd trust me and I knew she'd need my guidance. I'm sorry I didn't meet you until now Neesan. I couldn't be your mother. But I can now if you'll just let me."

I felt tears well in my eyes as I looked into her own, watery as well.

"It's not that easy damn it!" I shouted slamming my fist on my thigh. "I've lived my entire life without a mom! I've lived my entire life accepting that my mom was some horrible person who didn't want me and left alone! I can't let you in! I can't change my entire life around because now you decided to come back! I can't let myself trust you, love you, accept you!"

"Why?" She asked softly. I felt myself about to explode. "You know why!" "Why Neesan? Be honest with yourself! You know I'm not the one you distrust!" She said more sharply this time as if urging me. "I don't know what you're talking about!" "Don't lie Neesan! Accept it!" "Accept what?!" "Accept the truth!" "You wanna know the truth?!" "Yes!"

"I CAN'T LET MYSELF GET HURT AGAIN! I CANNOT HANDLE GETTING ABANDONED AND LEFT AGAIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE ANY MORE IF THAT HAPPENS AGAIN! I DON'T TRUST YOU, BUT I DISTRUST MYSELF EVEN MORE BECAUSE IF YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN, I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO COME BACK FROM THAT PIT OF DARKNESS I WAS IN FOR 12 YEARS BEFORE I MET WYAN AND MIKA!"

All was quiet. I took deep breaths to regain the air I'd lost after shouting that much.

I looked up and saw her crying.

I immediately felt guilty, like I kicked a puppy.

Except the puppy was crippled.

And I kicked with an iron leg.

That's how bad I felt yelling at my mom for something she had no control of.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there...I'm so so sorry Neesan...there's no excuse for what I put you through... I'm so, so sorry...I understand if you can't love me..."

Without thinking, I was holding her to my chest. She gasped, obviously not expecting my sudden 180° of attitude.

"I-I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's not your fault you died. I'm sorry. J-just don't cry. I'm not good with crying." She gave a small watery chuckle. "Just like your father..."

We sat there for a little bit, me holding her.

"I can't love you Mom...not yet. It's too soon, too new. I can't love someone I don't really know. But I can start with forgiving you, just a little bit at least."

She gave a small smile. "Thank you."

Quick A/n: Hey guys so just wanted to mention that you'll get to know more about Neesan and his past, how he met Wyan and Mika, all that. Also, I almost laughed at how blunt the following sentence was, "It's not your fault you died." And the way he says it so casually idk it's just kinda funny to me. *Shrug* Thanks for reading!

~Author-chan

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