The Angel and her Demon

Nineteen

Ally's point of view

Then I'll just go. You won't hear from me ever again. Goodbye Ally, see you in hell.

Justin's words still rang through my ears, even though it had already been five days since he said them. I had been miserable all week, I had gone to school, but other than that I had just stayed in my room. Now it was Saturday, and I was sitting in my room, staring blankly at the wall. I was exhausted and I had a horrid headache, because I hadn't been getting much sleep during the past five days.

My parents had been knocking on my room door all day, but I had just told them to go away. I want to be alone, and at the same time I don't. But the thing is - the only person I want to be near to is Justin. And he isn't here.

I sniffled, and looked out of the window. The sky was clouded, and it looked like it was about to pour rain. Such a depressive weather - just like me. I've felt so alone ever since Justin left. Like a piece of me is missing. And the most hurtful part about this is that I made him leave.

I didn't think of how my thoughts would effect him. I didn't even try to control my thoughts, and that's the most awful part. I should have remembered that he can read my thoughts and that I need to control my thoughts whenever I'm around Justin. But it's hard for me to control my thoughts, just like for any other human. And in my defense I must say that I was hurt deeply in that moment.

The way Justin told me that 'if I wouldn't be such a fucking bitch' he would've maybe helped me on the project. It would be a lie, if I'd say that it didn't hurt me. Because it did. But I also know that my thoughts hurt Justin, because I basically told him to go back to where he came from, like he never even meant anything to me. But that would again be a lie, because now I see that Justin has in such a short time become everything to me.

He's become the one guy I've actually fallen this fast and hard for. The one guy that I genuinely love, the one I need in my life. It's ironic how I realized that after he left. Now there's not really that much I can do about it, and that fact kills me.

I held the black feather against the back of my hand, drawing small shapes with it. It was Justin's feather. Him and I had talked about this the day the cafeteria incident happened. When we went over to my house, he had seen the feather. That day he told me more about himself. I sighed, as the flashback entered my mind, causing tears to fill my eyes. I miss Justin so much.