First of all look at my sweet baby. Paul landers seriously makes my heart skip a beat, he's so beautiful.
Okay um so summer is here and I couldn't be happier! I get to chill for a while like you guys have now clue how good/bad this year was. I don't really want to bore you guys I mean you already saw all the shit that went down with my crush, bleh.
I didn't see him like the last two weeks of school I hope he's okay. Welp to be completely honest I was thinking about something.
I'm sixteen and soon seventeen and I've never dated anyone. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm really that ugly like? Dude the line
"I think I'm going to die alone I think I'd love to die alone" has never fit better
Yeah that's pretty much it, I mean I don't wanna sound like a pathetic cunt like I know guys have liked me but they don't try to do anything about it...
To be completely fair neither do I, I'm the most awkward fucker if I don't have friends around me.
So I'm not sure I just wanted to share that because it's been in my head for a while now...
I wanna share a small memory that I hold dear to my heart with you guys.(actually two)
There's this guy, let's call him Ian because he looks like idubbbz. I don't think I've ever talked about him. He's tall, used to wear glasses and super smart.
He's shy and quite. I don't know how to explain how I feel about him. I talked to him like friends for a little bit. We got put together in a table and he sat right in front of me. He used to do this cute thing where when his glasses would slip he would gently push them up and just~sigh~ he's lovely. His hair is like sand colored and it looked so soft...
I sound like such a creep but you guys he is literally my type. Anyways my friend and I would always wait outside my science class because her's was right in front of mine. I remember we where talking and I was laughing because she was telling me something about a meme. I looked at the door and I saw Ian and....he was looking at me. When he noticed I saw him he looked down and left the door. Now I know it could just be he was spacing out but it made me feel so happy. Like I remember I felt my stomach fucking drop and I had butterflies.
The second time we got moved and I sat in a position where I was directly facing him and so was he but he always had to turn around to face the board. I remember I was working on this one drawing and I was slouched trying to get better detail in it and I sat back up to let the light hit it better. When I looked up on instinct I looked at his direction and he was looking at me again. The butterflies where fucking torpedoes.
I really regret not talking to him more, he's so cute and shy, I love shy boys. Well that's it, I'm sorry if this is boring or cringy I just can't get my head out this thought.
