Got To Be Good-looking ('cause he's so hard to see)

~45~

Clare

I woke and he was gone, the cottage empty of his presence. He had an innate way of getting under my skin, good or bad. I was done for.

That poem was abysmal and if he was a writer of songs or books he needed a new career or maybe he was like me, stuck in a big sinkhole of empty lines. Or he was hiding, pretending to write shit.

Either way I was done for. I was deaf and dumb to his flaws...... because I didn't know all of him!

Yes, you do, he's been kind and sweet and made you feel like a sensual woman. Do you really care if he has a small flaw or two....

Do I care too much?

Am I head over heels? Will I be lead on a merry chase only to possibly find out he is unattainable in real life, where reality is. Not this vortex of time -This tranquil Shangri-La of a holiday.

Walking the roads, I want to go to Linda's but it's so far and my feet already hurt so I head north for a change, along the roads verge and sometimes hop into a field for some flowers that are blooming.

What if he was a Prince- Andrew not Charles, no they talk posher; A politician, used car salesman, dish-washer, a writer -Hemmingway- too old. I don't know what F. Scott Fitzgerald looks like; Doctor, mortician, famous actor not Redford, dog walker, singer like Paul? Does it make a difference what, or who, he is??

Not in the slightest.

He mostly makes me smile. Ok ok, so he makes me pull my hair out too but that's human nature.

Lord, is this Love. Why yes, I do believe it possibly is.

Proofs in the pudding though isn't it.

I need a ten-step program drawn up:

How to Keep a Straight Face in ten easy steps.

...For when he does the big reveal.

A truck goes by and blasts his horn at me, I'm nearly mincemeat, straying to the edge of the road as I wave my damn flowers around like a hippy flower child, I'll be dancing next.

Walking up the driveway, I can see Linda chasing Stella around. Mary sits on the porch and Heather is perched on the front seat of the car with the door wide open.

As I wave Stella bolts head long towards me, such a dream she is, rosy cheeks, hair flying, black shoes slapping the ground. I catch her and lift high, victory for the princess! She squeals and gives me a kiss.

"Come on hurry up, where have you been?" Linda is annoyed, it's around 3.30 and I wasn't expecting her.

"Where?"

"Bonfire derr"

"Shit is it Thursday already?"

"Don't say the 'Sh' word" Linda covered Stella's ears "Yes Clare it is Thursday from midnight Wednesday to midnight Thursday or 11.59. I came early so we could ride, now move, you hippy with the flowers in her hair!"

I ran collecting clothes stuffing them in a bag, finding shoes then dashing back to the girls. I hoped in the car and Linda started the engine and went to drive but I was back in the cottage by the time she went to put her foot on the accelerator.

"I forgot this" I panted holding up the journal, she rolled her eyes "I wanted to ask Paul if I could do a rough tape, do you think he would mind"

"Is the earth square? It will have to be later though, he's off out to the pub in Campbelltown"

"Don't the patrons bother him?"

"If you mean by poking fun at him and calling his music shite, well yes, they do" Linda slowed and drew up to the first gate "Most of the patrons are 80 years young at the place he goes" I re-latched the gate and hopped back in the car "......So, we'll ride north today, I want to show you the ruins of Saddell Castle"

"Can we ride round them?"

"You can but it's too far for today we'll go to the peak and look down on them ok?"

"Oh yes great, of course. Thank-you"

"What for?"

"You have been picking me up, the horses, dinner, letting me borrow your husband, right now, tonight. It's been lovely Linda" I squeezed her shoulder and she gave me a broad beautiful smile.

"You look much better, happier than when you descended on us"

"I feel much happier" I beamed and she smiled brightly "Much more positive you know"

"I'm glad, Cass will be too"

The gates came and went and a lady called Jean looked after the girls while we rode. It was quite a way and I would probably walk bow legged by the end of the ride but totally worth the view over the county and ruins. We saw graveyards, broken walls of stone too, all half covered with brambles and moss.

From our vantage point on the hill, you could see the ghost of the buildings, once alive- living and breathing, humming with activity. Now deathly abandoned and alone.

"Come on it will be dark soon"

Cantering across fields I would miss I turned my head to the left to watch Linda smiling broadly, then I was down.

That's what's it's like- one minute on top of your steed flying like the wind, the next- down, flopped on the ground, horse disappearing over the next rise.

Linda finally pulled up beside me and laughed at my demise "Alright!?"

"Yeah, ankles a bit sore and..." I brushed the dirt from my hands noticing a thin light graze "a scrap.... and also no dignity whatsoever left"

"Can you stand, we'll double back"

I hobbled over as her horse wielded about, antsy over the pinto being home first. Linda shifted her foot out of the stirrup and I put my sore one in, trying to hop up, she grasped my arm as I held the back of the saddle then bounced up and over to sit behind the saddle, jiggling around to straighten, the horse did a pigroot and finally settled into a slow amble home.

"Paul!!!" Linda hollered from the gate, the pinto was already in the house yard so someone knew we were delayed.

"It's ok I'll get down and open it" I waited a bit for Paul to appear but held the saddle and bounced down to the gravel, stumbling over as I put weight on the ankle.

Hey, no sitting on the driveway miss!" Paul arrived laughing and opened the gate. Linda trotted in past us as Paul came to stand beside me. I was pulling at my sneakers, the laces tight now, my ankle was red and swollen.

"You're in the wars, you are" Paul muttered, crouching down, taking my foot gently and having a look "Sorry about Pinto, he likes to jump sideways when you least expect it"

"I should have been paying-" a shadow lingered over us, I realised Linda was back "...attention. Was lovely though, the ruins. Wish I had a camera, next time maybe"

Linda never spoke so I looked up to see what the matter was.

It wasn't Linda....