You (Matty Healy)

// CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT //

(A/N: Again, so sorry for the late update - literally had one of the worst months of my life. Main thing is I'm alive and ready to write: everything works out in the end :)

This chapter is somewhat dedicated to the  Emergency Services of the United Kingdom; after everything shitty that's happened the past couple of months (e.g. the Manchester arena bombing, the London Bridge attack, the Borough Market stabbings, the Grenfell Tower fire, etc.) I'm in awe of their resilience and professionalism. It's important to remember that these people are ordinary, just like you and I, and show nothing but bravery and heroism daily. At Parklife Festival in Manchester, I watched as Matty brought the NHS staff that dealt with the injured Ariana concert-goers on stage before their set. However, I'm not a celebrity; I'm a 20 year old student that has a passion for writing, which means I don't have the power to bring all these amazing people together to thank them for their hard work and dedication. What I can do, however, is use my words. So, yeah, thank you. )

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The car ride over was silent apart from the sound of Matty's fingers drumming against the steering wheel. It probably would have driven me insane under normal circumstances, but the sound blended into nothing but white noise. I felt like I was stuck inside some weird dream fantasy from a shitty film with everything moving in slow motion, and before I knew it I was stood in front of the black door of the flat, the very same one that I'd tried everything in my power to reach only a couple of weeks before. 

And without warning, everything came back. 


The way he'd always put a chocolate digestive next to my cup of tea.

The way he'd scratch the top of his head with the butt of his pen when concentrating.

The way he'd laugh.

The way he smiled.

The way he smelt.

The way his eyes seemed to change colour as they looked through me.

They way his fingers dug into my flesh as he pulled at my clothes.  


"Aves!" A voice boomed, snapping me back from my thoughts. I shuddered, turning my back and resting it on the door. "Aves..." 

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Matty said, more soothingly this time. I stared at my feet until the image became wavy due to the tears collecting in my eyes. His finger snaked its way under my chin and lifted it up, so my eyes now met with his own homely brown. "It's okay not to be okay." 

"Spare the poetry, will you?" I forced a chuckle, wiping my nose with the back of my sleeve. Matty didn't even smile slightly, his face was fixed into a firm expression; his mouth in a slim line and his bold eyebrows furrowed. 

"You don't have to go in." 

"Yes, I do." 

"Avery, yo-"

"You don't get it!" I shouted, surprising not only Matty but myself also. We stood in an awkward silence for a while, metres apart, staring at each other and not knowing what to say.
"You just don't get it." I whispered, lolling my head back against the door.  Matty raised his hands in surrender, before sitting on the floor cross legged. He pulled out a cigarette from behind his ear, lit it, and took a long drag. 

"Then tell me." He said quietly, pointing to the floor with the hand that held his cigarette. I slunk down against the door until my bum hit the cold concrete, and I held my knees to my chin. 
A few more moments passed. Matty offered his cigarette out to me, but I shook my head in defiance. With a small shrug, he took another drag before stubbing it out. He propped one of his knees up and placed his hand on the top, before resting his cheek on his knuckles. He didn't take his eyes off me once.

"It's just... I don't want to be restricted."

"How so?"

"I don't want this place to have a hold over me. I don't want him to have a hold over me. I just want to close the chapter on this whole shitty situation, and I feel I can't do that until I've faced it head on." 

"Then what's stopping you?" He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly, crushing his curls between his cheek and hand. 

"I-I'm scared, I guess." I sighed, letting out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding in. Matty let out a small chuckle. "What?"

"Being scared makes you human. You're one of the strongest people I know Avery, but even you aren't made of steel, as much as you like to think you are." He smiled at me, before pushing himself to his feet. "Now, you can either stay outside whilst I get everything moved out, or you can take my hand and we can walk in together and take it step by step. Either option is fine, but now's the time to pick one." 

I looked up at him from my position on the floor, and with a bated breath I held out my hand. He met it with his own and pulled me to my feet, before intertwining his fingers with my own and raising them to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. He pulled out his flat keys from his jacket pocket and slipped them into the door before pushing it open and leading me inside.


We stood in the doorway, taking in the sight. For the main part, the police had tidied up after themselves, if not for the odd bit of ripped white tape stuck to the floor and some furniture askew. I took a deep breath and walked towards the sofa, my fingertips trailing over the fabric of the arm. The image of Callum's frenzied face centimeters from my own pulsated at the back of my eyes, and I squeezed them shut to try and shake it away. I felt Matty's coarse fingers run along my back before squeezing my shoulder in support. 

"Breathe, Aves. You can do it." 

I nodded, taking a deep breath in. I opened my eyes as I let it out, before turning and giving Matty a small smile. He returned it, before disappearing into the bedroom. I stayed where I was, remembering the events of the room; not just what happened with Callum, but the aftermath. Like how I sat with my back against the wall, shuddering, with a young police woman sat next to me holding my hand as another took my statement, or how the ambulance crew were calming and accommodating to my fear of needles, and managed fixed up the cut on my cheek with medical adhesive rather than stitches. Although the worst thing that could have happened didn't, these people still took it as seriously, and treated me with respect. 

"Okay Avery, time to get a move on." I whispered to myself, before joining Matty in the bedroom.


After a couple of hours, everything was packed away and placed by the front door ready for the van men to collect. After placing the final box down, Matty sat on the top of it, letting out a huff. 

"Fucking knackered mate." Matty sighed, wiping his sweaty hair out of his eyes. I smiled to myself, taking the bobble off my wrist and handing it to him. He took it from me with a grin, before flipping his upside down and scraping it into a bun at the back of his head.

"Always a bummer when a guy can pull off a messy bun better than you can." I grinned at him. He let out a small laugh, before running his hand over his hair like a model posing for a photoshoot.

"As Taylor once said, haters gonna hate." He smirked, pouting his lips.

"Well, this hater has a question." I said, before reaching for my bag. I pulled out the all familiar tupperware box of god knows what, and watched as Matty's face dropped. "You gonna explain yourself or?"