Always, Amanda

Prologue

     Amanda groaned out loud, how many times does she have to see his excruciatingly beautiful face?

If she thought it was a blessing before, now she was really thinking that the Higher Being was punishing her for her sins. She was now convinced she was haunted. Twice in a row already for this week only – not to mention the enumerable times in the past years – and Amanda was on the verge of losing her sane mind.

She shook her head after sitting on her messy bed, her disarrays curly brown hair tumbling out to her chest and back in chaotic waves but that didn’t faze her that morning. She had desperate and pertinent at hand matter to attend to. Running her palms across her groggily face, Amanda decided to have her usual cup of ambrosial coffee first before anything else. Clutching her bedspread with a hand and throwing it on the side, she tossed her sleepy feet on the wooden floor, stretching them before blindly searched with her feet those fuzzy pink slippers she adored so much.

A mug of coffee and splashes of cold water to her face later, Amanda felt her mind functioning well for the task she had in mind. She needed to do it. She was just procrastinating and delaying the inevitable but right now, she was tired already. Because if she didn’t do it and he visited her again unceremoniously, then she was sure she was going crazy.

God, can I have a bit of respite?

She felt her eyes stinging but she refused to give in to the bouts of emotions assaulting her at the moment. She was tired already – well she said it already – and she was done with it. She had had enough of tears given to him.

Not anymore...

Despite her efforts, Amanda felt a lone tear warming up a trail on her face and she half-chuckled in melancholy. A very vivid image of what her early dawn dreams consisted flashed through her mind and Amanda fired up her laptop tersely. Her breaths came short as his face remained in the forefront of her mind and she cursed. Taking in a deep full breath, she leaned her back on the support of her comfortable swivelling chair.

She closed her eyes, this time she held to the mental image of the man who managed to sneak into her heart and now her dreams. His raven hair tousled to the breeze under the sun, his carefree smile directed at her that pierced through her meagre heart, his charming dimple on his cheek stirring the butterflies that took residents in her stomach and his deep enchanting blue eyes were messing up her emotions making her heart pound harder against her chest.

He was the epitome of the physical qualities she was looking for in a guy – tall, tan and handsome – and his disarming dimpled smile was just a plus to his heart-stopping features. Amanda unconsciously brought her right hand upfront to trace the image her confused mind conjured. Amanda whimpered helplessly as she placed her hand down on her side after touching the empty air, wondering how he still could affect her so much. Gosh, she feels pathetic...

It’s been too long...a decade and a year now and she still was struggling to forget about that one man who turned her world upside down without her noticing. She was wretched and a fool but not anymore. She was determined to get him out of her mind and heart now.

And Amanda was convinced actually that maybe, only amnesia could help her to flush him out of her system totally. If only she was crazy enough to do something stupid to have a loss of memory. 

Sighing loudly and opening her eyes, she clicked open her Office Outlook as she could only think of one way to cleansed him out of her life and finally move on.

Amanda was going to write and send him letters.

***