Always, Amanda

Letter 15

Hey Alex,

I know I told you my previous letter a few weeks ago was the last and well yeah, that's the end of it but I just wanted to let you know about some things.

This is going to be short.

I decided to quit my job as a nurse.

I've been burnt-out from my clinical shifts for the past months already. And with the stress of my parents' divorce, I couldn't handle the anxiety anymore. Don't get me wrong, I loved that job, especially seeing patients' smiles but I couldn't go on anymore, pretending that I was alright.

I am not fine right now.

I knew the huge stress will catch up with me in no time and break me, but before it can do any more harm than it did, I decided to cut it off. I deserve that atleast from me, after all that happened.

Maybe I'll go back to being a nurse after resting...or maybe I'll take on another path. It's not too late for me. I'm twenty-seven and single so I have atleast three years more before the big 3 to finally figure out my life.

I need a break. I need a breather. It's suffocating in here.

These days, I kept asking myself what I really wanted to do with my life. Guess, this is what they called the "quarter-life crisis".

I have to find myself.

I decided to go to that retreat place in New Zealand, doing yoga and helping in the organic farm there while de-stressing away from the hustle-bustle of the city. I already booked my flight and got my visa. I'll be leaving the country next week.

So, this is really goodbye.

I am thankful that I came to meet you in my life. I don't know if I'll ever get any answers from you but I guess I really have to let go of the past and accept that some stuffs are better left unanswered, that things come and go.

I wish you all the happiness in the world Alex. You deserve it. I wish nothing but the best for you.

Stay safe because someone out there still cares about you.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Always,
Amanda

***