Love Bites

LOVE BITES Chapter 23 : Confessions

Chapter 23 : Confessions

"Nikki, I need to confess something," Alastair said softly.

My heart skipped a beat and my thoughts tripped over one another. "What is it?"

His eyes fell to what little space there was between us and his mouth opened to say something but no sound came out. He looked... sad. It was the only word that could describe the way his eyebrows knitted and the dullness that clouded his beautiful eyes.

"What if I can't keep my promise?" He eventually said.

Why did I feel a twinge of disappointment when he said that? Was I expecting him to say something else?

I shook my head, telling him I didn't understand.

"What if I can't keep you safe?" His head fell on my shoulder. The love I had for him wrenched at my heart. I could feel his pain, but I didn't understand it.

Why was my Alastair suffering so much more than I?

It was my turn to wrap my arms around him, my fingers running themselves through his hair comfortingly. I'd always wanted to do this; feel the smooth long strands of his midnight hair between my fingers.

"You know, I'm not as weak and frail as you make me out to be," I told him gently.

"Never once have I thought that you were weak, Nikki," he said, lifting his face. His hands on my back burned, and I wished there wasn't a shirt separating his skin from mine. "Out of the both of us, you're the strongest."

I rolled my eyes. "Now you're talking drunk again."

"I'm not, Nikki," he said, his voice low but vehement. "You have no idea how much you mean to me. If anything was to happen to you..." His forehead touched mine.

My chest bloomed, eyes sliding shut and just appreciating this heart stopping moment before it was ruined. If only he knew how much he meant to me too.

In this state, Alastair was revealing to me more emotions than he had ever before in his life. And it wasn't some superficial or artificial show of his feelings, it was raw, passionate and utterly painful to watch.

"Hey, Alastair?" I whispered.

"Mhm?"

"You dropped something."

He pulled his face back. "What?"

"Your stoical mask." A small smile graced my lips. "You dropped it."

He shook his head, chuckling lightly. "Only you would say that. I try to hide but you always see straight through my defences, don't you?"

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. But I can't see what I see in myself. Alastair, do you really love me like you say you do?

With my stomach in knots, I stepped out onto thin ice. "Alastair, can I confess something?"

"Anything."

I averted my eyes, the ice cracking beneath my feet. "Well, I've actually always wanted to tell you this..." I rung my hands together between us. They suddenly felt clammy. You can do this. "I know it isn't right, I know that, but I've always felt..." I took a deep breath, yelling at myself to calm down. "Okay, wait. Let me start again." I looked him in the eye. "Alastair, you're my brother and-"

"Ugh," he actually rolled his eyes at me. I thought the action was below him. "I hate it when you call me that."

I blinked. "What?"