I'm 17... When Did That Happen!?

Spring Break... What Happened?

It's spring break. I shouldn't be feeling like this.

I should feel relaxed; not tense.

I should feel relieved; not overloaded.

I should feel free; not busy.

I should feel energetic; not exhausted.

I should not be on the brink of tears.

I am on Spring Break.

The long awaited Spring Break.

I am finally away from school,

but I almost feel worse.

Nothing is distracting me from myself.

My thoughts roam free,

and they go to dangerous places.

My thoughts do what they want when I cannot distract myself.

I tell myself to do this, but my thoughts are like, 

no.

Well crap.

So much for getting this done like I told myself I could.

Music isn't helping like normal.

Depending on the song

it might make it worse.

And of course I can't just skip those songs.

I force myself to listen to them.

My mood forces me to listen to them.

A good, fun, song comes on, and it brings a brief smile to my face.

Too brief.

Spring Break.

What happened?

You were supposed to be great.

Relax-ful.

Needed.

And now,

What?

All of these shifting moods.

Nothing to distract me...

from me.

Help?

Old Spring Break?

Are you there?

Can you help me?

Will you come back?

Please?

I need you.

Save me.

From me.