Mute ~Josh Dun x reader~

~Friend,Please~

//Warning it has stuff talking about things like useless and shit, talks about suicide so I'm sorry if you don't like these things//

Y/n Pov

"YOUR USELESS" "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MY KID" "WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING DIE ALREADY" Why can't I die..Why can't I speak..Why can't I just be LOVED Nobody loves me..Nobody loves a useless,dumb girl like me so what the point of living, no one is going to listen to me, even if I speak to them there only hearing not listing to me there just there just hearing what im saying there not actually understanding me they don't know what I feel they are just guessing of what they been through and try to help, I can kill my self but that wouldn't end the pain it would pass it on so what the point, what should i do, should I just leave and disappear like everyone else, or just continue with this worthless life, I can't do anything, I wont speak I never will, I will never fall again, but I'm doubting that,I'm falling faster then you can fall in a trapdoor, and I can't do anything, nobody can help me, no Josh,no Tyler. nobody I am useless, I  have nobody, I am a nobody and nobody else will understand why im thinking of this, should i leave, maybe i should, I walk out and go the park, I don't see anybody.No Tyler. No Josh. No one. I knew everyone will leave, I knew nobody stays I already knew that before, they stay for 2 days then they leave, it with everyone else not just them "Twenty one pilots went on tour, And called it the emotional road show"  "they had dedicated fans who sang lyrics with them and knew every single word to every single song"  I wish I knew people would do that with me, just sing to me, or something, to know i;m not alone, why am I alone, cause nobody likes someone like me, we can be the most FUN AND FUNNY,ADVENTURIST,person in the world..but they all judge by looks these days, this generation is really fucked up..sad to see that everything is a joke these days,

*flashback*
"daddy why is the world mean?"  I ask my dad as he pets my hair "well hunny the world isn't mean its the people in it that make it mean" "why are they mean then?" I look up to my dad and all he says "I don't know hun..I honestly don't know, now its time to go to bed" he stands up and carry's me to my bed "brushed teeth?" "yes" I reply  "washed face" "yes" "Is in pj's" "no- wait yeah" I hear my dad chuckle of what I said "good okay time for bed time story" "YA" my dad always brought things out of his head when he tells these "there were these two guys named..Tyler and Josh..Josh was a scared person he was scared of the world..Tyler was also scared of the world, They went and go out though, Josh never really went and do stuff he usually would spend his time inside" "so he was lazy?" "no he was scared of the world and how they are going to look at him and judge him" "Then he would always go out and find the RIGHT GIRL though cause he want to spend a day just to see how it feels to know there is someone in his life how they actully care" "why dose he need someone" "because sometimes is better to feel like your not alone and someone loves you" "do you love me dad?" "yes i really do and i will never leave you i promise"

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I will never leave you..I..Will..never..leave..you..but you did,you broke the promise..You killed yourself dad..Because you didn't believe you were the right one..why dose everyone leave me..why dose everyone believe there not worth it when they are..i just wanna learn. i just wanna understand why dose everyone bring themselves down, they call themselves trash, for no reason when there all pretty and there funny..but i bring my self down but i can't bring my self up cause I believe its hard..why is it hard to bring my self up.. why can't I just go in the mirror and tell my self "hey your pretty" "your a good person" "you are worth everything" oh yeah cause i'm not. I'm non of those things.. you can look at me and think i would be the happiest person in the world when i'm hiding under a mask, i'm hiding and i'm cold, i don't want you to see me like this that why, that why i never want this, this is the reasons why i need to die..I want to see you dad..i really do..i miss you..and i hope you can see how much you broke me.. do you see what i do to myself..you do and your hurting because i want to feel how much it hurt  for you to do what you did..I want to know how you felt.. and this is the only way to know. for me. to know. what you felt. to know how you feel back then. to feel something i didn't feel. to know the pain that we both really went through

JOSH POV.\

"TYLER LET ME SEE HER" I was trying to break out of Tyler's grip as I try to reach to the door "NO JOSH YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS CRAZY" "SAYS THE ONE WITH VOICE'S IN HIS HEAD" I look over to Tyler..he starters crying "I'm sorry Tyler i didn't mean it" "Why would you, you just want to see somebody" "Tyler..why won't you let me go" "Because i don't want to lose you" "you never will" "are you sure" "yes I'm sure Tyler..forever will be" i was about to open the door knob..but i don't want to leave Tyler but i want to see y/n..

Y/N

its been 1 hour since josh hasn't came

Its been 2 hours that josh hasn't came

its been 3 hours since josh hasn't came

Its been 4 hours.

its been 5 hours

its been 6 hours...i knew it.. he will never come back. Nobody ever comes back cause everyone thinks I'm crazy,

its been 7 hours..dad..why can't you tell me why everyone leaves me..

please tell me i want to know..

(I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SAD I JUST NEED A REALLY SAD CHAPTER AND ALSO IF YOUR CONFUSED WHY YOU SPEAK ITS CAUSE YOUR BEGGING MUTE NOTHING HAPPENS THAT YOU LOST YOUR VOICE YOU JUST NEVER WANT TO TALK OKAY OKAY YEAH IMA GO GET FOOD)