Mute ~Josh Dun x reader~

~Prove Me Wrong~

Y/n Pov
I was binge watching F/Y (favorite YouTuber) while eating I don't even know anymore. I Didn't feel like begin social..well like I even can in general. I kept hiccuping, Witch was annoying. I decided to go to the kitchen, And get a water bottle. I looked in the kitchen sink to put water in so I can put it in the microwave so it can heat up. Thoughts kept rushing to me. But I just kept ignoring it. Well...Tried. I decided to put my water in the microwave. While doing that I heard a knock. Nobody wasn't supposed to visit. I check through the hole thing. And noticed it was Josh. Shit. Beep Beep Beep. Dang it. I kept hiccuping and I'm making a lot of noise. I just don't want to talk to Josh. Or even see him. I go running to my room, And try to act like I didn't see anything

Dan: Hey, You okay?

Me: Yeah, Why??

Dan: I don't know you haven't been out much. 

Me: I never go outside?

Dan: I know but like meet up with me and stuffs

Me: I'ma just stay home all day, Okay.

Dan: Okay, but if anything happens shoot me a text okay?

Me: Okay.

I go back to the door to see if Josh is there, Nobody. Phew. I didn't really want to see Josh. Intill I hear an other knock. Oh it's Tyler. I don't really mind Tyler, "You guys need to talk.Now." Tyler shoots me a Dead eye look. Holding Josh's Shirt. "I-I wanna say sorry." ....Sorry really."I wanna make it simple, I accept  your apology I'm just still hurting inside"  I wrote really fast, So fast that It probably turned sloby mess and he can't read it. But It's true. It feels like someone is here to kill my heart. I want someone to stay here with me and prove me wrong that love is for me. But Now I know I'm alone. I'm terrified this will happen again. I don't want it. anymore.I look at the time "You guys need to go," I write down. "why?" They both said "My parents will come here any minute" I shew them away at the door "bye" They said with a sad look on there face, It hurt me inside to see them sad. But hey I don't want them to get what I get. "WHO WAS THAT?!" I hear my father yell right as I go to the couch "friends" I write down on the thin lined paper"FRIENDS. HA I ALMOST BELIEVED IT. YOU ARE ALONE" "i'm not alone" "WOW YOU ARE SO FUNNY. YES YOU ARE ALONE. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU UGLY FACE AGAIN" A warm tear goes down my cheek. I go rushing to my room, feeling the walls slowly closing in on me my room felt cold as ice.I got my phone and put music , calming my self down. Truce. I play truce and listen to Tyler singing. I lay my head on the soft pillow and listen to Tyler sing. Music flowing to my ears, Eyes slowly shutting. and dream slowly forming. Only if Dreams had rainbows and unicorns. But life isn't like that. Or dreams. I put a blanket around me. Still hearing Tyler sing. It relaxes me. Forgetting what My father has said. Forgetting everything. I'd rather just stay mute instead of begging death. I like- No love music. Without it I would have Panic attack and Feel worried about every little thing. Music is the only way I can escape. I want to know my life. I want to know is there love. If love is supposed to make you feel happy and good. Why is it hurting me? Was I not meant for love. I want someone to just come to my life and Prove me wrong. Prove me that Love is for me. But is it.  I feel my thought be interrupted by my dream slowly starting. I really hope love if for me. if it isn't then whats the point.