Odd Ball

The Blood That Crip Walks

This bitch.

Punk ass.

Handcuffed me to a pipe.

I am offended.

The man in the various colored suits, I don't know anyone's name here, said that I 'did too much'. Like what? I'm a very calm person.

He figured a good solutions would be to basically chain me to and exposed pipe by the front door until this Mint person got here.

So I'm sitting there, singing  Once Upon a Time by Mariahlynn at the top up my lungs.

"ONCE UPON A TIME NOT LONG AGO, I WAS A HOE. AND I'M ADMITTING IT, I WONT TAKE IT BACK CAUSE I DID THAT SHIT. I SAID IF I WANNA FU-"

"Ay. Shut that shit up." A random man said walking up the front steps to the homely house. He was eating skittles.

He poured them into his hand, then shook them like he was shooting dice.

I was taught to never trust people like that because they beat bitches.

But he was pretty. Like really pretty.

But his eyes. I see why he's called Mint.

"Why are you handcuffed?" He asked stopping in front of me.

"Why you worried about it?"

"Touché" he said then continued further into the house.

I frowned, a nigga still handcuffed.

Mint came back outside about 13 minutes later holding bolt cutters.

Jesus, I'm about to die. He's going to dismember me and burn my limbs in acid in his bath tub.

"Lets calm down now, you wouldn't hurt a girl would you." I tried to reason.

"Naw but for a million I'd milly rock the fu- nevermind." He stopped and came closer to me with the cutters. "I'm sorry! I'll be quiet! I promise!" I pleaded, he gave me a confused look.

"First of all, I can see you crossing your fingers witcho' lying ass, and second, them dumbasses lost the key to the cuffs so I gotta' cut em." He explained.

Ah. That made more sense.

I stretched my arm out and he cut through the chain, so I'll be walking around with a cuff around one arm.

Don't tell Kylie or else she'll be doing it next.

"So I'm going with you? Where do you live? Am I going to have my own room? How many other people live there? Would you walk through a haunted graveyard at midnight for a billion dollars?" I asked following him out the door.

"Yes. About 10 minutes away. You are going to have your own room. 1 other person besides me. I'd crip walk straight through that muh'fucker stop playing wit' me." He answered all my questions.

Impressive.

Wait.

Crip walk?

"Buuuuuuut ain't you a blood?" I asked and he stopped making me almost run into his back.

"Shit...... you right." He said, shrugged his shoulders then kept walking. He approached a poop brown 92' volts wagon.

"Where's your car?"

"Right here duh."

"..............You sell drugs........ and this is your car?"

"I ball on a budget."

The car was in the shape of a box, there was a plastic bag over the back windshield, and cardboard over the passenger side back seat window, the windshield was cracked, every single tire was missing the hubcaps, and looking inside the car wasn't much better. There was no radio, I'm guessing the air didn't work, the interior was scratched up, peeling, and stained, the windows were the manual ones where you had to crank, and the seat belts were tied together.

"This ain't no budget..... this hoe was free."

"Look, my baby got 200k miles. There ain't nothing special or pretty about it. It's rusty too, but it was $200. I got $200 worth of a car. The check engine light is on and so is the oil one, and like every other light on that hoe. It was $200, it gone be some lights on this muh'fucker. It cranks, steers, and drives. Cranks out cold air and won't leave your pockets bare. It get me from point A to point B. I just can't try to make it to point C." He spoke his entire essay about his little tink tink.

I just shrugged and hopped in, wheels is wheels.